On any manifesting journey, you will be presented with tests from the universe that you must overcome before you can progress any further. They come into your life to test your self-worth and your trust in the manifesting process. Tests can come in the forms of obstacles, people or challenges, or as something that asks you to settle for less than you deserve.
This step is an extension of Step 3: Align Your Behaviour (see page 61). In overcoming tests from the universe, you align your behaviour with high self-worth and learn to trust in the power of manifesting.
The easiest way for me to explain what a test from the universe looks like is to give you some examples.
Let’s imagine that you want to manifest your perfect partner. Before you meet ‘the one’, you will likely be presented with a test from the universe to overcome first. The test is there to see how worthy you really believe you are of attracting them into your life.
In this scenario, the test may come in the form of ‘the ex’. The reappearance of an ex is often accompanied with that enticing feeling of familiarity. They present you with an easy opportunity to head back towards something that feels comfortable, even though it isn’t right for you. The choice here is this: do you invest your time and energy into something that you already know doesn’t work or do you stay committed to your future and make a choice to physically and (more importantly) energetically walk away from your past and close the door firmly behind you?
The test of the ex is so common that I often tell people that if a previous partner suddenly reappears in their life, they can be sure that their soulmate is close behind (if the test is passed, of course). There is something incredibly liberating and empowering about being able to say to yourself, ‘I am officially closing the door to my past.’ But to do this properly, you must do it fully. I have heard so many men and women tell me they are not invested in the idea of getting back with their ex but then continue to message them or see them ‘casually’. They are leaving the door open. They do it because it provides them with comfort, connection, attention, validation and distraction, but engaging with something that isn’t right for you, no matter how casual you think it is, will block your path to your manifestation. This is because engaging with it says to the universe, ‘I don’t trust that what I really want is coming,’ or ‘I need to find my self-worth in someone else,’ in which case you will continue to attract what matches both that doubt and low self-worth.
Finding closure within yourself on an energetic level is the most powerful and effective way to clear space for what is meant to enter your life. Whenever you see an opportunity to step away from someone or something that is no longer serving you, take it. You must clear the path so that you can meet your future self with ease.
Here is another example of a test that might appear when you are working towards manifesting your perfect partner. You go on a few dates with someone new and there is immediate chemistry between you both. They seem to tick a lot of your ‘boxes’, making you feel hopeful that they’re the one you’ve been wanting to manifest. But within a few days or weeks, you start to sense something is off; they are blowing hot and cold or they are not showing you the respect that you deserve. This is a clear test. The universe is asking you something: how much do you really value yourself? How worthy of true love do you really think you are? Are you going to settle for someone who doesn’t seem willing to commit to you?
If you choose to settle for that person and ignore the red flags that are right in front of you, you will block your manifestation. The reason for this is because in choosing to ignore the warning signs you send this message to the universe: ‘I am afraid I won’t meet anyone else, and I don’t believe that I will find anyone who can truly love me and commit to me the way I deserve.’ Remember: to manifest what you want, you must believe you are worthy of it and your behaviour must align with that belief. So, if you choose to walk away from this person, you show the universe, in action, that you know you are worthy of a deeper, stronger connection. The universe will respond by bringing your soulmate to you.
Any time that you make a choice to ‘settle’ in any area of your life, you will block yourself from manifesting all of the things you desire most. This is because the act of settling for less than you deserve is driven from that low-vibe place of fear and doubt: fear that you aren’t really worthy of having what you truly desire and doubt that you will ever be able to manifest your dreams.
If you want to become an effortless manifestor, then mastering this is key. Begin to look at all the areas of your life and ask yourself, ‘Where am I settling for something less than ideal? Where am I compromising my self-worth?’ For example, do you currently have toxic friendships in your life that you can’t seem to let go of? Almost every client I’ve ever worked with has had a toxic person in their life who constantly drains them, negatively affects their confidence and lowers their vibe. They stay in the friendship because they are either scared to offend or upset the other person by walking away, or they worry that, without them, they will feel more alone. Toxic friendships and relationships are another example of a test, and only when we find the courage and inner strength to step away from them will we open up space for healthier relationships to enter our lives. Remember: your time and energy are your most valuable assets, so use them wisely.
FAQ:
Q: What if I fail a test?
A: I often get people messaging me saying, ‘Roxie, I think I’ve ruined it. I went back to my ex and we were together for a month and then he cheated on me again. I feel like such an idiot. Have I ruined everything?’ The answer is no, of course not. Remember: the universe is on your side. It’s just waiting for you to see the light. It doesn’t punish you if you don’t get it right first time. Whenever you make the energetic shift to overcome your test, you will be rewarded with abundance.
Tests don’t just come in the form of people. The tests that you really need to look out for are the ones that appear to be exactly what you were waiting for but, when you look a little closer, you realize something just isn’t quite right. For example, if you are on the hunt for your perfect house and you come across one that is ‘almost’ it, but not quite, do you take it, out of fear of not finding something better? Or do you walk away and wait for the right one?
A close friend of mine, a make-up artist, wanted to manifest being signed by a particular agency that represents some of the most well-respected creatives in the world. He wrote down the agency’s name on his vision board and began working on cultivating self-love, removing some of his limiting beliefs and aligning his behaviour by uploading regular content on his social media channels to showcase his work and accepting as much client work as he could to build his portfolio and experience. A couple of months passed and he was feeling much more confident in himself and had developed his own authentic niche within his field. Then he got an email: an agency wanted to sign him, but it was not the agency of his dreams. He had an important choice to make: should he say yes out of fear that he wouldn’t be able to manifest signing with his dream agency? Or should he turn them down, knowing it was not really what he wanted, and wait? It was a hard decision to make. These decisions often are; they require you to demonstrate unwavering confidence and it can feel unnerving to turn down something that is a ‘good offer’ just because it isn’t exactly what you were after. My friend said that in not taking the offer to go with that agency, he felt he was being ungrateful, or even greedy. I reminded him that knowing what you want and holding out for it is neither of those things. After a few days of considered thought, he made the empowered decision to turn down the offer. Five months later, he signed with the agency he’d put on his vision board.
At any given time, we can choose to adopt a scarcity mindset or an abundance mindset. A scarcity mindset says that there is not enough love, happiness or success to go around for everyone. It comes from a place of lack. An abundance mindset trusts that there is plenty enough for everyone. At every stage of the manifesting process, adopting an abundance mindset is integral, and it is particularly important when overcoming tests from the universe. Whenever a test appears, you can choose to respond from a scarcity mindset (there is not enough to go around) or an abundance mindset (there is more than enough for everyone and there is an abundance of opportunity). Imagine you are in search of your perfect pair of jeans. You walk into a shop and see a gorgeous-looking pair on a hanger in front of you. You optimistically head to the changing rooms to try them on. When you do, you realize they aren’t quite right for you. At that point, because you know that that there is an abundance of differently styled jeans in the world, you would quite happily put those ones back on the hanger and continue your search for the perfect pair. You wouldn’t waste time thinking, ‘There is only a handful of jeans in the world so I’d better take these in case I don’t find something better.’ You have to apply this abundance mindset to everything in your life to be able to manifest the things you truly desire. Put back the things that aren’t right for you and know that you are worthy, and deserving, of having the things that are.
As well as being stuck in a scarcity mindset, one of the reasons we often fail tests from the universe is because our impatience gets the better of us. When we want something we can sometimes ignore the details of our vision and go for the next-best thing, if that means we get to have it more quickly. For example, have you ever redecorated your house or your office? If so, you’ll know that lead times for buying key pieces of furniture can be months because they are often made to order, especially if you are looking for something particularly unique or special. So, in the process of refurnishing your space, you are always met with a choice: do you find something else that isn’t quite perfect but will arrive sooner or do you wait patiently so that you can create the perfect interior space that matches the vision you originally had in mind? Manifesting your best life is a little like refurnishing your home. Sometimes you have to wait just a little longer than you hoped so that you can create the perfect space to live in. The space that you’ve always dreamed of, the space you first created on your vision board.
WHEN THINGS DON’T GO YOUR WAY
Other types of tests we are presented with are challenges we face when things either don’t go as we had planned or we face rejection. It could be a trip you’ve been looking forward to being cancelled, an offer on a flat or a house falling through, an unexpected bill coming through the post, not getting into the university you applied to or learning that a potential love interest has met someone else. All these situations have the potential to derail you and quickly rock your confidence and your trust in the manifesting process. But here is what you need to know: when things don’t go the way you hoped they would, you are in fact being given your greatest opportunity to show up for yourself while building inner strength, resilience and courage.
Imagine that you are an actor wanting to manifest a lead role in a TV series. Your manifesting journey might look something like this: on your vision board, you write down the genre of show you want to appear in, the channel you want to be on, the salary you would like to receive per episode, perhaps even the name of the director of the show. You then work on identifying and removing fear and doubt and you align your behaviour by investing in acting lessons, committing time and energy to your auditions and being proactive in spending time with other people in the industry from whom you can learn. Then your agent calls you with the ‘perfect role’. You think, ‘Oh my goodness, this is it!’ You give the audition everything you’ve got, wait patiently and then they call you to say that you didn’t land the job. You inevitably feel crushed. After you have processed your disappointment you have a choice: do you allow this to strip you of all your confidence and undo all the hard work you’ve put in, or do you accept that it simply wasn’t the right fit for you, stay in your power and move forward? To put it simply, do you choose to lose faith or do you choose to trust that there is something better out there for you?
‘SOMETIMES, WHEN THINGS ARE FALLING APART, THEY ARE REALLY FALLING INTO PLACE’
– ANONYMOUS
When I first decided to launch my own podcast series, ‘The Moments that Made Me’, in which I ask each of my guests to take me through three of the defining moments that shaped their lives, I had to first reach out to people to see if they would like to be guests. This was something that terrified me from the outset: would people think I was annoying for asking them? Would anyone say yes? Would the podcast be a total failure? I had always been so scared to ask people for favours, out of a fear of being judged or rejected. But the podcast was important to me so I knew I had to step out my comfort zone and just go for it. So, I got out a pen and paper and wrote a list of all the people I had connections to and could reach out to. The first person I messaged was a very well-known celebrity who was a judge on a reality show at the time. I texted them nervously and asked if they would like to be a guest. I got a reply straight away. I opened it and it said something along the lines of them being sorry, but that they wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing their personal life and so wouldn’t be able to help me on this project, but wished me good luck! I remember feeling sick to my stomach – I immediately felt so embarrassed that I had asked them and I took their response as complete rejection. Then I remembered that I had a choice. I could choose to let it derail me and my confidence and stop the journey before it even began or I could choose to acknowledge that this was simply a test from the universe for me to overcome. I reframed my thinking: this person’s decision not to share their story was not a personal rejection, it was a completely valid and understandable reason, and it did not mean that everyone I asked would have the same response. In that moment, I sent out messages to five more people. They all said yes. By the end of 2020, I had recorded twenty-eight episodes, the exact number of episodes I had put on my vision board at the start of the year (I honestly couldn’t even tell you why I chose this figure; I just did!). And then, in May 2021 the billboard for my podcast was put on ninety advertising boards all around London! Seeing my podcast advertised around the city was so incredibly special, and I was bursting with pride. If I hadn’t stepped out of my comfort zone and then overcome the test put in front of me, it would never have been possible.
The Russian philosopher Helena Blavatsky is thought to have been one of the first people to write about manifesting, back in the late nineteenth century. In The Secret Doctrine, she wrote, ‘Do not be afraid of your difficulties. Do not wish you could be in other circumstances than you are. For when you have made the best of adversity, it becomes the stepping stone to a splendid opportunity.’ When I first read this, I could not stop smiling. This beautiful passage, which was written over a hundred years ago, supported something that I had intuitively known to be true: that when we overcome tests from the universe, we are rewarded with new opportunity.
WHEN WE OVERCOME TESTS, WE BUILD SOMETHING WITHIN US: AN INNER STRENGTH THAT IS MAGNETIC.
I received a message on Instagram from someone who had attended one of my manifesting webinars that said, ‘I have been working on my manifesting process for the last few weeks and then I got a job interview at my dream company last Monday. I’m new to the industry and I couldn’t believe I had even been asked. I really thought I’d manifested what I wanted, but then I didn’t get the job. I feel so lost and broken and I don’t know what to do.’ I felt for her. That feeling of disappointment after days or weeks of experiencing hopeful excitement can feel so painful. But again, there was a choice to make. She could choose to give up, to wallow in the low-vibe feeling of rejection, or she could choose to reframe her internal response. She could instead choose to say, ‘Wasn’t it incredible that, as someone new to the industry, I was able to manifest an interview for a dream role so quickly? I can take real value from what I learned in the interview preparation, and in the interview itself, and that will benefit me when I find the perfect role for me.’ This is a high-vibe, empowered response to rejection. I offered her a new perspective and explained that this was all part of the process. I encouraged her to recognize the test, reframe her thinking and keep her vibe high by listening to some career affirmations every night before bed. She messaged me three weeks later, saying, ‘I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me to reframe things when I messaged you before. I’ve actually managed to achieve all that I’ve wanted since your last manifesting workshop. Despite the initial doubt and frustration, plus not seeing the rewards as quickly as I would have liked to, what I’ve learned has paid dividends. I’m on my way to my new job for an induction and I start tomorrow.’
Sometimes, the universe knows you are worth more than the thing you desire. It doesn’t give you the things that you want because it wants to give you something better. Trust that the universe is always looking out for your best interests. If the person you’ve been seeing ghosts you four months into your relationship, then accept that they were not the one for you. If a plan is cancelled at the last minute, it wasn’t meant to be. Manifesting is sometimes just about dusting yourself off, standing tall and taking whatever value you can from the experience, knowing that there is always a lesson to be learned and something greater on the other side.
I use the word ‘choose’ a lot in this book, and that’s because our power to choose is one of our greatest manifesting tools. We can choose what visions we create, what thoughts we attach to, who we spend time with, how we invest our energy, what behaviour we accept from others, what fears and doubts we let go of, and how we respond to tests from the universe. The choices you make determine who you become and what you manifest into your life.
If you are on your manifesting journey, become aware of tests. When they present themselves to you, do not allow them to lower your vibration and take you off course. Use them to strengthen your manifesting power by showing the universe that you value yourself and that you believe you are worthy of receiving abundance into your life. Stand up for yourself when you need to, say no to enticing opportunities if they don’t fill all the requirements, stay strong when faced with rejection and trust that everything will work out just as it is supposed to.
One of my favourite quotes is ‘Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.’ It reminds me that everything has the potential to teach us something valuable. Instead of seeing things as ‘going wrong’ or ‘going right’, you can see everything as an opportunity for learning, expansion and growth. That is why this step is my personal favourite: when you are able to see challenges as nothing more than tests that you can overcome, you begin to let go of so much unnecessary stress and instead begin to ride the waves of life with so much more ease and fluidity. That ease enables you to raise your vibe and empowers you to manifest even more powerfully and effortlessly.