The most important thing to understand about manifesting is this: you do not manifest from your conscious thoughts alone. You manifest from your subconscious beliefs about what you deserve. This means that you can only manifest what you truly believe you are worthy of attracting into your life.
According to research, only 5 per cent of our cognitive activity is conscious, while the remaining 95 per cent is subconscious. That means that 95 per cent of our thoughts, reactions, decisions, perceptions and behavioural patterns are driven by the subconscious parts of our brains. When you consider this, it is easy to understand why our subconscious would then have such a profound influence over the reality we create. But while our subconscious has unlimited power to drive us towards our dreams, it also has the power to hold us back from them. This is because our subconscious is home to the two things that block any manifestation: fear and doubt.
Fear and doubt come in the form of insecurities, limiting beliefs, feelings of unworthiness and a lack of trust in the universe’s ability to provide for us. Fear and doubt sabotage our manifesting abilities by subconsciously sending a message to the universe that we aren’t worthy enough, or ready, to receive the things that we desire.
Fear and doubt are so powerful that they can prevent us from even imagining what we want: they literally create blocks for us at the very first step of our manifesting journey. Let me show you how: I would like you to take a minute to pause and visualize the exact income you wish to manifest in the next financial year. Write down the figure on a piece of paper now. When you look at this figure, can you honestly say that this is your dream salary? Or did you write down a figure you believed you could ‘realistically’ manifest?
FEAR AND DOUBT OFTEN MASK THEMSELVES AS FRIENDS; THEY TELL YOU THEY’RE PROTECTING YOU FROM INEVITABLE DISAPPOINTMENT, WHEN IN REALITY THEY ARE ACTIVELY HOLDING YOU BACK FROM UNLOCKING THE ABUNDANCE OF THE UNIVERSE.
Ask yourself now: when making your vision board in the previous step, did you stop yourself writing down some of your deepest desires because something within you told you that they’re unachievable and there was no point in adding them in? Your limiting beliefs can prevent you from even visualizing what you want from life by telling you that your dreams are simply out of the realm of possibility.
A couple of months ago my best friend, Leah, came over because she wanted me to help her begin her manifesting journey. We lit candles, set the scene and I took her through a visualization meditation, then we laid out large sheets of coloured paper, magazines and marker pens and got started on making our vision boards. I could see her hesitating every few minutes, going to write something then stopping herself. I paused and asked her, ‘What are you not writing down?’ and she replied, ‘I just want to be realistic.’ When we shared our vision boards with each other after we had finished, I saw that she had crossed out ‘10 new clients’ and replaced it with ‘5 new clients’. When I asked her why she had done that she said it was because she didn’t want to put something down ‘in case it didn’t happen’. As she is my best friend and we talk endlessly about the things we want to achieve in our lives and the dreams we have, I could see that she had also completely avoided writing down some of her deepest desires. One thing was for sure: fear and doubt had a hold of her.
I did the very same thing at the beginning of my own manifesting journey. It was New Year’s Eve and, unlike the previous ten years, I decided not to spend the night getting drunk and then struggle through the first day of the new year with a raging hangover, but instead to spend the evening at home, cooking my favourite meal and sitting down to make my vision boards – something that has now become my New Year’s Eve ritual. I had just begun creating my first-ever five-year vision board and I could feel so much resistance and self-doubt coming up as I was doing it. For example, I dreamed of being on stage delivering one of my self-development workshops to thousands of people. The reason for this? I want to empower as many people as I can to realize and see the infinite power they have within them to heal, evolve and live the very best version of their lives. I want to contribute, in any way I can, towards making self-development as fashionable and mainstream as clothes are. That’s my purpose, my passion and my goal. When it came to it, though, I couldn’t bring myself to put it on my vision board. I was so embarrassed by the thought of writing it down and it not coming true that I denied myself the opportunity to even consider it was possible. My fear was trying to protect me from the threat of failure, but it was also preventing me from manifesting something I wanted.
I realized that creating a vision board can do more than simply help you visualize what you want to manifest: it can give you an opportunity to understand your fears and doubts more clearly. Every time you hold yourself back from writing something on your vision board, ask yourself, ‘Why am I holding back? What limiting belief is driving that?’ By identifying your fears and doubts at this stage, you give yourself an opportunity to start to work on healing and removing them so that you can unblock your path to manifesting everything and anything that you want.
When I came to create my next vision board, I challenged myself to write down every single dream I had, no matter how big or small, and I refused to let my insecurities stop me from doing so.
WHEN WE GIVE OURSELVES FULL PERMISSION TO DREAM, OUR FEARS AND DOUBTS HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE.
Try this: If your previous vision board was limited by fear and doubt, go back and amend it now, or create a brand-new one that honestly represents all the things you really want. Before you do this, say to yourself, ‘If fear and doubt were no object, this is what I would like to manifest into my life.’ Put down every single thing that you want to attract.
Dream big and don’t hold back.
TO MANIFEST ANYTHING INTO YOUR LIFE, AND TO DO SO EFFORTLESSLY AND EFFECTIVELY, YOU MUST BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY OF HAVING IT. READ THAT AGAIN.
For example, let’s imagine that you are an artist and you want to manifest successfully selling your artwork. You can visualize yourself displaying your art at a gallery you love, and you can imagine exactly how it will feel to sell your work, but if you don’t, deep down, believe that you are good enough or worthy of praise and celebration, then you will not be able to attract the opportunities for your work to be appreciated. We attract not just what we feel, but what we believe. You simply cannot manifest when fear and doubt stand in your way. So, to progress in any manifesting journey you must first identify and then work to remove the fear and doubt roadblocks. This is what I call inner work. This is self-development in action. At this point, it is important to acknowledge that the inner work required to remove our fear and doubt is ongoing. Some of your limiting beliefs may be relatively easy to observe and let go of, while others may be more deep-rooted and require a great deal of attention, time and commitment to work through so that they no longer have the power to limit you.
The majority of us have an endless list of limiting beliefs, insecurities and doubts that we have accumulated from our early childhoods through to where we are now. They plague our conscious and subconscious minds and block us from unlocking our greatest potential. This is why Step 2 on my 7-step guide to manifesting is one that you will keep coming back to again and again throughout your manifesting journey.
FAQ:
Q: What is a limiting belief?
A: A belief is formed when a thought has been repeated so many times that it has become automatic. Our beliefs drive our behaviour, so when a belief that we have is holding us back in some way, it becomes a limiting belief.
For example, if we grew up being told over and over again that we are unlovable, we will eventually believe it to be true and the way we behave will be informed by that belief system. This may mean that, later in life, we will accept being treated poorly by others or we will subconsciously seek out toxic relationships to support this self-limiting belief.
Beliefs can be formed in childhood, adolescence and in adulthood.
Before I go on, I would like to tell you a little story about my own relationship with fear and doubt.
When I look back at my life before I discovered manifesting, I was drowning in insecurity. My self-loathing was debilitating and my lack of self-worth impacted on every area of my life. I was conscious of it at the time (my inner critic was far too loud to ever be ignored), but it all stemmed from a place deep within me: from my past experiences and from memories that lived within my subconscious. My own journey to removing fear and doubt was the most valuable and profound I have ever been on. It is a journey that is still ongoing, and I continue to work on this step every day. I have become acutely aware of my thoughts, and when fear and doubt begin to speak I take a moment to catch them, consider where they are coming from and then take immediate action to heal them, using some of the tools I’m going to take you through in a moment.
One of the (many) limiting beliefs I held was this: I would never be successful in my own right. Growing up, I had always wanted to ensure that I would have financial stability in my life. Like many people, I wanted to feel comfortable in a home that I loved, and I didn’t want to have to worry about paying bills or providing for my children. But I grew up believing that in order for that to happen I would need a husband who could provide that for me. I told myself that I wasn’t capable enough, or intelligent enough, to become a successful and financially independent woman in my own right. Then, at the age of twenty-one, I fell madly, deeply, head over heels in love with someone twenty-five years older than me. I was completely besotted with him, and the two years we were together felt, at the time, like a fairy tale. He made me feel so safe and adored, and he imparted so much wisdom to me and taught me so much, which shaped the person I have become today. But he was also an incredibly successful, wealthy man and he provided me with a certain lifestyle that I would not otherwise have experienced at that point in my life. This reaffirmed my limiting belief that I needed someone else to support me. I began to place all my value and self-worth in him and, when the relationship ended abruptly, I was devastatingly heartbroken and suffered a complete loss of identity. In truth, before I discovered manifesting, I used all my romantic relationships to make myself feel validated. In my mind, I was only ever as good as the man I was with and my self-worth was always directly related to the person I fell asleep beside.
At the time, I was totally unaware that I was stuck in this pattern but, unsurprisingly, in all those years I made virtually no money myself. I was unable to secure jobs, and I had no direction, purpose or motivation. My own fears and doubts prevented me from manifesting any work or financial independence and from stepping into my own light.
Shortly after I did discover manifesting, as I described earlier, I met Wade, the father of my child and now best friend. This time, I had met someone who was my equal and not someone I looked to for validation or someone who would enable me to escape my own world by bringing me into theirs. Instead, Wade offered me something so much more magical: unparalleled emotional support, unconditional love and the freedom to be completely and utterly myself. I believe that meeting Wade was one of the best things that ever happened to me, not just because of our beautiful son, but because I don’t think I would have been so driven and focused on building my own career to the place it is now without him by my side helping me to see that I was enough.
As I began to manifest more and more, I finally realized that I was completely able to provide myself with all the financial stability and validation that I dreamed of. I didn’t need anyone else to provide it for me. I knew that the only things that had ever held me back from having it were fear and doubt. Fear that I wasn’t smart enough, worthy enough or good enough, and a subconscious doubt, influenced by both my upbringing and the media, that it was possible for a woman to carve out a successful career for herself. I worked through each fear and doubt and committed to healing it. Between 2018 and 2020, my income increased tenfold. Now, as I write this, I am proud to say that I have provided myself with all the financial stability I dreamed of as a child. I can take my son on holiday, I can pay my bills without worrying and I can spoil the people I love most. The power was always within me, I just had to unlock it first.
IDENTIFY FEAR AND DOUBT
When you look at all the things that you want to attract into your life, you must first commit to being open and honest with yourself in order to recognize what fears and doubts you currently have about being able to manifest them.
Start by asking yourself some questions:
I invite you now to take a moment to think about just one thing that you want to manifest. See it clearly in your mind’s eye and then spend a few minutes trying to identify what fears and doubts come into your mind when you think about really having it. Try to identify as many as you can and write them down in the space below.
Note: However quiet the inner voice is that keeps you from fully believing in yourself, bring it to light and write it down. Even if your thoughts feel irrational or unreasonable, write them down. Acknowledging each detail of your fear and doubt will only empower you to let it go.
What do I want to manifest?
What fears and doubts do I have around this?
Take a look at the fears and doubts you have just identified and understand this: it is these limiting beliefs and insecurities that are currently holding you back from living your best life. The more aware you become of them, the less power they hold over you. Awareness is always the starting point for any self-development journey. Simply by completing that exercise and identifying your limiting beliefs, you have already begun the process of healing them.
I suggest that you repeat this exercise for every single thing that you want to manifest, or at any point when you feel stuck in your manifestation to help you recognize your current blocks. Become a mindful observer of your day-to-day thoughts and when the voices of insecurity begin to speak, take note. The more easily you are able to identify them, the more quickly you will be able to let them go.
REMOVE FEAR AND DOUBT
Removing fear and doubt is self-development in action. This is the work we commit to every single day: to remove limiting beliefs, to realize our worth, to unlock our potential and to rediscover the inner confidence we were born with. This is the inner work we commit to so that we can successfully manifest the life of our dreams. This is the work we do so that we can live a life that is not limited by our own insecurities but flourishes with the power of the universe.
So how do we do it? There are endless ways that we can begin to heal fear and doubt, but here are four I’ve found particularly powerful that I want to share with you:
Note: For some of you reading this, your fear and doubt may have stemmed from trauma or it may feel too overwhelming to begin to work through it alone. If this is the case, working with a therapist, holistic healer, psychiatrist, counsellor or other mental health professional can be a necessary and valuable investment to help you heal and work towards removing the fear and doubt, alongside the suggestions below.
1. Master your thoughts
I began this chapter with an important lesson: we do not manifest from our conscious thoughts alone but from our subconscious beliefs about what we deserve. While this is true, we must not underestimate the power of our thoughts and the influence they continuously have over our subconscious.
THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OBEYS THE CONSCIOUS MIND, SO WHATEVER WE CONSCIOUSLY THINK OUR SUBCONSCIOUS WILL PERCEIVE TO BE TRUE.
How do you talk about yourself to yourself? Most of us have a voice inside our head that will speak to us in pretty unkind ways. It will tell us we are unworthy, unlovable, stupid, disgusting, boring and any other disempowering characteristics it can think of. This voice is the expression of our fears and doubts. In my webinars, I do an exercise where I ask everyone to say something kind to themselves; for example, I will encourage them to repeat, inside their heads or out loud, ‘I am wonderful, I am beautiful, the people in my life are so lucky to have me, I am perfect exactly as I am, I love myself.’ Afterwards, I ask them to tell me how it felt to do that. Every time, the majority will say that they felt silly and uncomfortable speaking to themselves in that way, even when no one else could hear them. I then ask them to say something like ‘I am worthless, I am never enough,’ and ask them how that felt. Too easy, they tell me. I do this short exercise to demonstrate just how natural and effortless it feels for us to speak to ourselves in limiting ways, and how unnatural and challenging it feels to speak to ourselves with love and respect.
I can relate to them; I spent two decades looking in the mirror saying things like ‘You’re hideous, you’re a loser, you’re miserable, you’ll never be enough.’ I spent every single day berating myself for simply being me, and my inner voice was constantly feeding my devastatingly low self-esteem. I gave my insecurity a voice, and with that voice it grew. There came a point, though, when I was simply exhausted by it all and I just didn’t have the energy to inflict that verbal abuse on myself any longer. Perhaps some of you reading this now are feeling exactly like that, too. I realized that I was never going to be able to step into my fullest power and unlock the life of my dreams if I continued speaking to myself in this way.
I made a choice to start showing up for myself and to become my own cheerleader. I did it even though it didn’t feel comfortable. I said kind and loving things to myself because I knew my subconscious would hear it and believe it to be true, even if I didn’t. Once I started to choose thoughts that supported me and empowered me, I began to feel an internal shift in my confidence. If I could sense I was about to voice something negative or limiting, I would catch myself and instead say something like ‘You are doing a great job. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. You are strong. You can do this. It’s OK.’ I knew that every time I used the power of my thoughts in this way I was boosting my manifesting power. Within a month, I noticed that this was beginning to feel natural, and within two months it had become the leading inner voice. I really started to believe the things I was saying, and I meant it when I said to myself, ‘You got this!’ or ‘You should be so proud of yourself.’ I mastered my thoughts to override the fear and doubt. I urge you all to become your own cheerleaders, too.
IF WE KNOW THAT OUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS DRIVING US TO OUR MANIFESTATION, THEN WE MUST USE OUR CONSCIOUS MINDS TO INFLUENCE OUR SUBCONSCIOUS BELIEFS. WE MUST FEED OUR SUBCONSCIOUS WITH EMPOWERING THOUGHTS TO INCREASE OUR SELF-WORTH AND BOOST OUR MANIFESTING POWER.
Our thoughts shape our reality in another way, too. Remember, in the introduction, I explained that thoughts generate emotions and that different emotions have different vibrational frequencies. This means that if we can master our thoughts, we can change our emotional state, and if we change our emotional state, we can change our vibration. If we change our vibration, we change our reality.
So, when we consciously choose to think positive and empowering thoughts that trigger high-vibe emotions (such as confidence, enthusiasm and hope), we will attract more abundance into our lives through the law of attraction. However, if we allow fear and doubt to express themselves continuously as a negative voice or an inner critic, they will lower our self-worth, trigger low-vibe emotions (such as fear, shame, despair or worry) and block our manifestations.
We can only have one thought at a time. I remember hearing that for the first time and wondering why something so obvious had never occurred to me before. If we can only have one thought at a time, then, surely, we can just choose to replace a negative thought with a positive one, right? The answer is yes.
But we are creatures of habit not just in what we do but also in the way that we think. The National Science Foundation, an independent health agency based in the US, found that we have, on average, up to 60,000 thoughts a day. Of those, approximately 80 per cent are negative and over 90 per cent are repetitive. To begin to undo repetitive, negative and limiting ways of thinking, we must commit to consistent practice and repeatedly choose to nourish our mind by replacing the negative thoughts with empowering ones. Commit to it in just the same way you would commit to forming any other new habit.
Each time you find yourself thinking, ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’, ask yourself, ‘What if it does?’ Instead of saying, ‘I’m not good enough,’ say, ‘I am perfect exactly as I am.’ Instead of imagining the worst possible outcome, imagine the best. Remember that you have the gift of choice, so choose a thought that pushes you forward rather than one that holds you back.
DO NOT ALLOW NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TO ROAM FREE, UNREGULATED AND UNMANAGED. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THEM AND START TO PRACTISE MANAGING YOUR THOUGHTS SO THAT THEY CAN WORK FOR YOU, RATHER THAN AGAINST YOU.
As well as replacing thoughts, we can also work towards removing our fear and doubt by reframing our perspective.
No matter what we experience, we always have an opportunity to choose which lens we view it through. The perspective we tend to choose is usually dictated by our general mood, our expectations, our past experiences, our belief systems and our self-worth. This is why two people can experience the exact same situation but perceive it in very different ways. For example, have you ever been at a restaurant with a friend and when you leave one of you says that it was a perfect evening, while the other felt the restaurant was too loud, the food was average and the staff were inattentive? Or have you ever read an email from a colleague when you were in a bad mood and felt personally attacked and completely infuriated by them, only to re-read it the next day and realize that you had totally misinterpreted their tone?
Our perspective is informed by many external factors, but we always have the power to choose one that will serve us best. In fact, reframing my perspective is the technique I use most frequently to overcome any fear or doubt that creeps in throughout the day. Whenever I sense myself starting to worry or doubt something, I pause and see if I could offer myself a new perspective. For example, I called my sister just last week to tell her how disappointed and upset I was that an article I had written had not been published. My inner critic was trying to convince me that it was because my work wasn’t good enough and that the editor had decided she didn’t want me writing for their publication any more. After voicing this out loud, I remembered that I had the opportunity to choose a different perspective. Instead, I chose to focus my thoughts on how proud I was to have written the article and how grateful I was to be asked at all. I came up with three alternative scenarios as to why the article had not yet been published, none of which had anything to do with me: the editor hadn’t seen the email; they had other articles they needed to publish first; they had decided to take a different direction with the piece. In a matter of minutes, I moved away from my negative perspective and embraced a more liberating one. My article was published the very next morning.
When you see that you are interpreting a situation from a place of fear and doubt, ask yourself, ‘What is another perspective I could choose? How could I reframe my thinking here?’
For example, if you go on a date with someone and the next day you don’t hear from them, you have a choice of what perspective you can take. If you allow your fear and doubt to dictate your perspective, you might start to question what you did or said wrong, you might decide that this is further evidence that you will never meet the right person for you and you may allow it to stop you from opening yourself up to future dating opportunities out of fear of feeling rejected again. However, if you adopt a more empowering perspective, you might choose to consider that perhaps the other person is not in a place in their lives to meet someone right now, that the two of you just weren’t the right fit, and you would still feel excited about the journey to meeting your soulmate.
REMEMBER: WE MANIFEST WHAT WE BELIEVE WE ARE WORTHY OF.
Start to become aware of your thoughts, then choose to replace those expressions of fear and doubt with thoughts and perspectives that will raise your self-worth and self-belief.
2. Watch your language
The language we use both internally and aloud feeds directly into our subconscious. As with our thoughts, if the language we use is unregulated, it will work against us by fuelling our fears and doubts.
There are a few easy ways to use language to help you manifest more effectively:
Remove the word ‘if’ and replace it with ‘when’
When people talk about the things they want to manifest or the goals they want to reach, they often use the word ‘if’, for example, ‘If I get that job …’ or ‘If I meet someone …’ The word ‘if’ says to the universe, ‘I don’t really know, or trust, that this will actually happen.’ The doubt is highlighted in the ‘if’, and you cannot manifest from a place of doubt. From now on, I ask that you never use the word ‘if’ again. Instead, say ‘when’, for example, ‘When I get my new job …’ or ‘When I meet my perfect partner …’ When you talk about your future using language that reflects certainty, your subconscious will respond by directing everything towards you reaching that goal.
Talk about what you do want, not what you don’t
If you were to tell me now about something that you really don’t want to happen, you would have to first imagine what it would feel like if it did happen. So, when we speak about something we don’t want, our subconscious still mentally and emotionally experiences it. As we now know, this will change our vibration to that of the imagined, unwanted experience and that is what we will then attract. So, the more we discuss what we don’t want, the more it will show up for us.
Instead, simply describe what you do want. For example, instead of saying, ‘I really don’t want to be in debt any more,’ say, ‘I want financial freedom.’ Or, instead of saying, ‘I hate being single,’ say ‘I am excited to be in a healthy, loving relationship when the time is right.’
Use your awareness to ensure that rather than expressing what you fear might happen or hope won’t happen, you focus your energy on the things you do want in your life so that you can bring them into your reality.
Make mindful swaps
There is language that empowers us, and there is language that limits us. And the language we use matters. When we become more aware of the language we are using, we can implement some simple yet effective language swaps to help boost our manifesting power. For example, every time you find yourself saying, ‘I can’t do this,’ or ‘It’s too hard,’ you might choose, instead, to say, ‘I will find a way to do this.’ Remember that your subconscious mind, the place that you manifest from, is obeying your conscious mind and listening to the language that you use.
I had a client who really struggled with public speaking. He said that every week, when the team meeting began on Monday morning, his palms would get sweaty and he would feel hot and flustered at the thought of having to give his pitch. It was interfering with his weekends because the anticipation of it was becoming so overwhelming. Within our conversations he kept using phrases such as ‘I hate public speaking,’ or ‘I am so inarticulate,’ or ‘I am rubbish in team meetings.’ He was feeding his fears with this limiting language, but this way of speaking had become so automatic that he wasn’t even aware of it. I encouraged him to spend the next week becoming conscious of whenever he was about to use one of these phrases, and instead say to himself, ‘I love being able to share my ideas with others,’ or ‘I am grateful to be part of a team who listen to what I have to say,’ or ‘I am a really confident speaker.’ I reminded him that it was OK if it felt a little uncomfortable to say these things, but to really commit to doing it anyway. When the next Monday team meeting came around, he told me that although his voice was shaking for the first few seconds, he managed to finish his pitch without stumbling over his words the way he usually did. I could see how proud he was of himself as he told me the story, and I felt so proud of him, too. The following week, he did it again, and the week after that he told me, in his own words, that he was so looking forward to the meeting on Monday to share something new with the team. By changing the language he used he was able to override his fear and doubt and increase his self-esteem surrounding public speaking.
When we change our language, we change our experiences.
Here are some examples of simple language swaps that you can use:
Become aware of the language you use and make mindful swaps wherever possible to keep feeding your subconscious with nourishing thoughts that will boost your self-worth, self-belief and ability to attract abundance into your life.
Accept compliments
Many of us grew up believing that speaking confidently about ourselves would make us seem arrogant, vain or boastful. So, we embraced the use of self-deprecating language and learned to put ourselves down in an attempt to be more likeable. Take a second to think about all the times someone has paid you a compliment or congratulated you on your achievements: how many times did you respond with denial, objection or by playing down your success?
This has become such a natural way to respond to compliments, but it is doing more damage to your self-esteem than you might think. When a friend says to you, ‘Wow, you look really glowing and radiant today,’ and you respond with ‘Urgh, no, I look awful,’ you send a message to your subconscious that you do indeed look awful.
Little by little, as we dismiss and reject the compliments and praise we receive from others, we subtly chip away at our own self-worth. From now, commit to practising a greater level of openness and gratitude when someone pays you a compliment. Take a moment to really hear what they have said and respond instead with nothing but those two magical words: ‘Thank you.’
When we open ourselves up to receiving expressions of love or praise from other people, we simultaneously begin to shift our subconscious beliefs about what we deserve. This is such a simple and effective change to make, and it’s one that I absolutely love.
3. Use mantras
A mantra is a word, phrase or sound that you can repeat out loud or in your head at any time, to help gain awareness, release stress and to raise your vibration.
When I discuss the use of mantras in the context of manifesting, I am referring to using a positive affirming phrase such as ‘I am worthy.’
We can use mantras to send positive messages to our subconscious minds and to replace a negative thought. For example, if your fear and doubt was beginning to voice itself as something like ‘You are not good enough,’ you can replace the thought with a mantra such as ‘I am perfect exactly as I am.’
When we begin to incorporate mantras into our daily routine, for example by repeating them every morning or every night before bed, we can begin to reprogramme our subconscious mind by regularly feeding it with positive and empowering language.
Mantras are one of my all-time favourite self-development tools and incorporating them into my life has been an integral part of my own manifesting journey. Whenever I repeat a mantra out loud or inside my head I instantly feel more centred and empowered. When I first started using mantras, though, I found the experience really confronting. I felt both silly and embarrassed to be saying to myself, ‘I am worthy,’ when, at that time, I didn’t feel worthy at all. But I committed to the practice anyway because I knew that it was shifting something at a deeper level, the subconscious level, the level from which we manifest. Within a couple of days of repeating these affirming statements every morning when I woke up, I was finding myself saying them more easily and without that awkward and uncomfortable feeling. Within a week, I was really able to focus my attention on the words I was saying and feel my whole energy shift with it. Now, I never go a day without repeating a mantra to myself. I always repeat a couple of mantras to myself in the morning to start my day in the best possible way, and any time I need an energetic boost, too.
Try this: Write down a mantra somewhere you will see it every day, for example, as your phone screensaver or a note on your bathroom mirror. Whenever you see it, repeat it to yourself five times. I like to change my mantra once a week so that I give each one enough time to really let the message sink into my subconscious.
Here are some mantra ideas to get you started. Choose one or two a week and repeat it five times every morning and every evening. As you read them now, repeat them to yourself slowly a couple of times and see for yourself just how quickly you can shift your energy.
One way that we can use mantras to reprogramme our subconscious beliefs is to listen to a positive affirmations track. A positive affirmations track is an extended audio track that repeats a number of mantras in a loop, usually over meditative music. I recommend this tool to absolutely everyone I work with because affirmations are so powerful and so effective in helping us with our manifesting journeys.
How do they work? Well, our subconscious is most susceptible to positive messaging at three significant points of the day: as we fall asleep, as we wake up and when we are in a meditative state. This is because at these times our brain is operating between the frequencies of alpha and theta brain waves, the optimum frequency for visualization, creativity and learning. Listening to a positive affirmations track at these specific times will allow your subconscious to most effectively absorb the positive messaging, and when you do this repeatedly, it forms new neural pathways in the brain that support a more empowered, and therefore magnetic, mindset. It will also help to overwrite any negative and limiting beliefs driven by fear and doubt.
I began using positive affirmations at the very beginning of my manifesting journey, listening to them as I was falling asleep, and I still, three years on, fall asleep to them every single night. I first listened to tracks that I found on YouTube; I just typed in ‘affirmation tracks’ and chose the one that I connected with most. Now, though, I use tracks that I created myself, which are all available on my website (www.roxienafousi.com). Once you find one you like, I recommend sticking with it for a while: our minds become conditioned to a particular track, so as soon as you press play your brain will know that now it’s time to relax and you can sink more quickly into that susceptible, meditative state.
If you are working towards manifesting a specific goal, then I suggest listening to an affirmations track focused around that goal. For example, if you are wanting to manifest a promotion, then I suggest listening to a career-focused affirmations track every night for two weeks. Similarly, if you are wanting to manifest your soulmate, then perhaps choose a self-love or relationships-focused affirmation track.
4. Practise visualization
We used visualization in Step 1: Be Clear in Your Vision (see page 9), and we can use it again now as a tool to help us remove fear and doubt.
Here is a simple visualization for you to try:
THE EVAPORATING BALL VISUALIZATION
Close your eyes and take a deep inhalation and a full exhalation, noticing the rise and fall of your belly. Inhale for the count of four and exhale for the count of four. Repeat this deep breathing until you notice that your mind is beginning to quieten and your body to relax. Once you have reached a place of relaxation, use your mind’s eye to visualize your fear and doubt. See all the fear-driven thoughts, feelings and emotions collected together as a ball of dark matter. Imagine all your insecurities, worries and limiting beliefs joining it, making this ball bigger and bigger. See it clearly in front of you, a representation of everything that is holding you back from your fullest power. Now, with each inhalation, imagine a bright line shining through you, overpowering the darkness. With each exhalation, visualize this ball of fear getting smaller and smaller. Repeat this until the ball of dark matter, the ball of fear and doubt, has evaporated into nothing. Then, gently, open your eyes.
I love this visualization technique because you can use it any time and anywhere. Even if a little niggle of doubt comes into your mind, you can simply close your eyes and imagine yourself removing it with the power of your breath.
This technique is particularly useful for anyone who feels exceptionally overwhelmed by their inner voice and finds mastering their thoughts, or using mantras, to be too overwhelming to begin with. I had one client who was newly married and was really struggling to find her voice in her relationship. She felt constantly undervalued and unappreciated and felt that she wasn’t getting the emotional support she needed. Even though she knew this, her inner critic was so loud that it stopped her from being able to communicate what she needed and deserved from her partner and it was taking a toll on her mental health. She came to me for help with releasing some of her limiting beliefs surrounding love and relationships and with making her feel more confident within her marriage. But I could see, soon into our first session, that her inner critic was so overbearing that asking her to replace her limiting thoughts with empowering ones was going to feel really daunting and unmanageable for her. So instead I asked her to try this visualization technique and to repeat it every day for two weeks. By the end of the fourteen days she had managed to take enough power away from the fear and doubt to be able to start incorporating some of the other tools, too, such as using mantras and switching her language. Within six weeks, she had begun to find, and use, her voice; she was finally communicating her needs to her partner in a healthy way and was feeling much more empowered within herself and in her relationship.
We can use visualization to remove fear and doubt in another way, too. Just as we can use our thoughts to reframe our perspectives, we can use visualization to reimagine the scenarios we play in our minds. How often do you find yourself playing out worst-case scenarios in your head? Or imagining your worst fears coming true? When we repeatedly play out these scenes in our minds, we lower our vibe and feed into our worries, insecurities and doubts. You can use the power of visualization to simply reimagine the scenes you are watching in your mind and choose to see the best possible outcome playing out instead; it’s a bit like changing the channel on TV. For example, let’s say you want to manifest getting into your dream university, if your fear and doubt is creating scenarios in your mind of you failing the exams you need to pass to get in or receiving a letter with bad news, then change the channel. Visualize yourself passing the exam and receiving the good news you’ve been waiting for and really imagine how you will feel in that moment. Keep replaying the ideal outcome in your head over and over again.
Visualizations are a firm fixture in your manifesting toolbox; you can use them to be clear in your vision, to help remove fear and doubt, to imagine yourself in best-case scenarios and to raise your vibe.
OUR MINDS HAVE INCREDIBLE POWER; THEY ARE BOTH THE CAUSE AND THE CURE OF OUR FEAR AND DOUBT.
Fear and doubt are the words I use to describe the culmination of everything that feeds into our low self-worth, our insecurities and the limiting beliefs that block us from turning our dreams into reality. As I mentioned earlier, removing your fear and doubt is an ongoing process, and it is the one that I always remind people to keep coming back to. When you find yourself blocked on any manifestation, the first thing to do is ask yourself what fears and doubts are still surrounding your ability to call it in. It is worth me adding here that this is probably the most challenging step of all: it requires us to be vulnerable and to look back at all the experiences and memories that may have contributed to creating these blocks in the first place. But with great effort comes great reward and, once you have begun to remove these blocks, you will clear the pathway to receiving the infinite abundance that the universe is waiting to provide you with. The four tools in this chapter are just some of the tools you can use day to day, but I encourage you to explore any other self-development practices that help you on your journey to raising your self-worth.
We are now going to move on to perhaps the most powerful way that we can combat fear and doubt; it is something that will permeate each and every step in the manifesting process: cultivating self-love.
