The therapist and patient often compose a flash card for the patient regarding the problematic behavior. They can use the Schema Therapy Flash Card as a guide, adapting it to focus more specifically on behavior. The flash card describes the situation, identifies the schemas that have been triggered, states the reality of the situation, and describes the healthy behavior.
Justine has a Subjugation schema that developed from her childhood interactions with her tyrannical father. She is engaged to marry Richard, who is loving but domineering, like her father. Justine is working on replacing her overly aggressive response to Richard’s “bossiness” with more effective, less confrontational behavior. Following is the flash card Justine and her therapist developed to help her change her overcompensatory style to one of appropriate assertiveness.
Right now I’m feeling like Richard is controlling me, telling me what to do, and not listening to me. I want to scream at him to leave me alone; I want to throw things; I want to run into the bedroom and slam the door; I want to hit him. However, I know that I’m overreacting because of my Subjugation schema, which I learned as a little girl with my domineering father. Even though I believe Richard is intentionally disregarding my feelings, in reality he’s just being himself and doesn’t mean to hurt me. Even though I feel like yelling at him and hurting him, instead I’m going to calmly tell him how I feel and what I want to do. I’m going to say what I want in a mature way that I won’t regret later.
Patients can read the flash card when they are preparing for a situation and want to remind themselves why changing their behavior is important or when they are in the situation and have the urge to revert to the old mal-adaptive behavior.