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The goal of this section is to get the other person to suggest your solution on their own.
PRINCIPLE 1:
Use calibrated questions to help identify what they want
This also helps to give illusion of control to other party. It gives off the perception that you value their input.
Start the questions with “what” or “how”. Avoid "why", as it raises defenses.
EXAMPLES:
PRINCIPLE 2:
Avoid negotiating in situations of chaos
In situations of chaos, people are often highly perceptive to threats. This makes it much harder to gain their trust.
PRINCIPLE 3:
Consider the satisfaction of the people who aren't there
Sometimes the terms of the negotiation affects, or is carried out by people not present. These people can sometimes have an affect on the potential follow through of the negotiated deal.
PRINCIPLE 4:
Don't ask for everything directly.
When you ask directly, it sets the expectation that you are ready to reciprocate the favor. It ignites a tic for tat mentality.
Find things out by asking indirect questions.
EXAMPLE: You would like to find out if they went to the office this morning.
“Was Bagel Betty's open when you went to the office this morning?”
PRINCIPLE 5:
After identifying what the other party wants, summarize the situation, and ask a “how” question, like "how am I suppose to do that?
“How” minimizes confrontation, and gets the other person in a problem solving mode, instead of a defensive one.
