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PRINCIPLE 1:
THINK from the other persons point of view. Empathize.
REASON: Doing this helps to increase your understanding of what they think and feel. This phenomena is called neural resonance.
PRINCIPLE 2:
Verbalize the label
REASON: Gives the impression of listening and understanding. This builds your likeability. It also helps to remove the taboo or fear associated with the emotion or thought.
STEP 1 = identify their emotional state by observing their tone, words, and body language
STEP 2 = turn your observations into words and communicate them using "it looks like" "it seems like" "it sounds like"
STEP 3 = be silent. Avoid asking questions after verbalizing the label.
PRINCIPLE 3:
Clear the barriers to agreement AND/OR Look for a spot where you can apologize for something; especially if they believe you have done wrong.
REASON: It weakens their perception of you as a threat AND/OR you're wrongdoing.
The faster you can address and weaken their fears, the quicker you can get to feelings of trust and safety.
PRINCIPLE 4: Make accusations of the other party's fears that cause them to have to explain themselves further. Follow this by silence.
STEP 1 = make a list of the possible accusations that the other party could make
STEP 2 = practice using them with disarming phrases such as:
PRINCIPLE 5: Make compliments periodically
Use statements that reinforce the belief that you have a positive perception of them.
