Never get angry. Never make a
threat. Reason with people.

—Don Corleone
    The Godfather

A few years ago during a plane trip, my seat partner asked, “What do you do for a living?”

I replied, “I’m a negotiator.”

My companion got a glimmer in his eye and tried to suppress an all-knowing smile. From his reaction I knew what he was thinking: “Well, what do you know? This guy probably sells aluminum siding to tenants residing in brick apartment houses.”

Unfortunately, this negative reaction to the word “negotiator” is a misconception shared by a great many people. When they hear it they automatically think of a slick manipulator who is attempting to win at the expense of some innocent victim. Certainly, there are those who operate this way. However, this competitive strategy is only one approach to getting what you want. Actually, the style of negotiators can cover a broad range along a continuum between those who are competitive (I win, you lose) and those who are collaborative (both of us can win).

We now focus on these two primary modes of negotiating behavior that individuals use for conflict resolution:

In Chapter 7, “Winning at All Costs … Soviet Style,” negotiators try to get what they want at the expense of the other side. Even if you never use this strategy, you should have the ability to recognize it; otherwise, you may be victimized by it.

Then, in Chapters 8 and 9, “Negotiating for Mutual Satisfaction,” and “More on the Win-Win Technique,” the emphasis shifts from the effort to defeat an opponent to the effort to defeat a problem and achieve a mutually accepted outcome. Here everyone is working together to find a creative solution that will meet the needs of both sides.