Especially when dealing with different regions or cultures, language is often used as a phony disability. I’m keenly aware of this because many years ago I saw three Japanese gentlemen, representing JAL (Japan Air Lines), use this ruse when dealing with a large group of sophisticated executives from an American corporation.
The company’s presentation to the Orientals was overwhelming. Starting at eight in the morning, it lasted two and a half hours. With the aid of flip charts, elaborate computer printouts, and other presentation-supporting data, three projectors flashed Hollywood-style images on the screen, justifying the asking price. I was there at the conference-room table, and let me tell you, it was like Disneyland.
Throughout this dog-and-pony show, the Japanese gentlemen sat quietly at the table and said nothing.
Finally, his face glowing with expectation and self-satisfaction, one of the key American executives flicked the room lights back on and turned to the impassive men from Japan. “Well … what do you think?”
One of the Japanese smiled politely and answered, “We don’t understand.”
The blood drained from the executive’s face. “What do you mean, you don’t understand? What don’t you understand?”
Another of the Japanese smiled politely and answered, “The whole thing.”
I was studying the frustrated executive, and I thought he’d have a coronary. “From when?” he asked.
The third Japanese gentleman smiled politely and answered, “From when the lights went out.”
The executive leaned against the wall, loosened his expensive tie, and groaned dispiritedly, “Well … what do you want us to do?”
All three Japanese now replied, “Can you do it again?”
Who was in the catbird seat now? Who was kidding whom? How could anyone possibly repeat a two-and-a-half-hour presentation with anything resembling the initial enthusiasm and conviction? The corporate asking price swirled down the drain.
Moral: Don’t be too quick to “understand” or prove your intellect at the outset of an encounter. Watch your listen-talk ratio. Learn to ask questions, even when you think you might know the answers.
Furthermore, if you approach others asking for help, it tends to set the climate for a mutually beneficial relationship. At the least, you’ll cause the other side to make an investment that ultimately accrues to your advantage.