The tactic known as the “nibble” works on the same basis. You may not be familiar with the term, but when I describe it you’ll experience a shock of recognition. In this example, I’m going to assume, for ease of reference, that you’re a man. But the same situation can apply to a woman. Just mentally switch the frame of reference from that of a men’s clothing store to that of a dress shop or boutique.
You enter an exclusive men’s shop in the downtown area of where you live, to buy a suit. Someone important to you is getting married, and you want to look good at the wedding. Because men’s lapel widths change from year to year, owing to planned obsolescence, you’re concerned about style. That’s why you have a tape measure in your pocket.
“May I help you?” asks a salesman.
“I think so …” you reply, frowning thoughtfully.
For three and a half hours you shuffle from rack to rack and from suit to suit, painstakingly measuring lapels, always trailed by the salesman, who doesn’t dare leave because you keep asking questions about shoulder widths, pocket flaps, sleeve styles, cuffs, and number of buttons. You repeat, over and over, “How long will this particular suit stay in style?” When he offers his educated guess, you ask, “Are you sure?”
After you’ve examined thirty-nine suits and fingered seventy-eight lapels, and the now stony-faced salesman is ready to “blow his cool,” you say, “I think I’ll take that Hickey-Free-man for $370.00—that one over there … the one with the very subdued stripes.”
The salesman sighs with relief. Trying to remain calm, he murmurs, “Would you follow me, please?” He leads you into the small mirrored room in the rear where the store’s tailor does alterations. You remove the suit you’re wearing, slip into the Hickey-Freeman you’re about to purchase, and stand on a special wooden box before a three-way-mirror. Near you, while you stand on the box, is the salesman, now somewhat relaxed as he writes up the sales slip and calculates his commission.
Beneath you, as you teeter back and forth on the platform, an elderly gentleman with a stooped back, pins in his mouth, and a tape measure around his neck is on one knee. He removes five pins from his mouth and slides them into the material. Moments later, he makes chalked X’s on the seat of the pants, then tugs in three inches at the crotch. As he does this, he mumbles in an accent you can’t identify, ”This is a beautiful suit. It hangs well on you.” Wherever you go that old guy always has an accent. Maybe it’s not an accent—just the pins in his mouth.
At this juncture, you twist your head toward the salesman and ask, matter-of-factly, “And what kind of tie will you be throwing in free?”
The salesman stops writing. He looks at the old man on the floor. The old man raises his head, not knowing whether to shove in another pin and make another chalk mark. He releases your crotch. The whole thing swings forward three inches.
That is what’s known as the “nibble.”
What goes on in the salesman’s mind after the first wave of hatred subsides? He grunts inwardly, “This blankety-blank has consumed three and a half hours of my time. I didn’t have a coffee break. I’ve strained both shoulders putting thirty-nine jackets on his back. I’ve watched the nitwit measure seventy-eight lapels. All right; that’s down the drain. What have I got here? What can I assemble from the wreckage? A $370.00 sale, from which I’ll get a $60.00 commission. For the sake of the $60.00, I suppose I can take $7.00 from my pocket and buy this clown a tie wholesale. I just hope I never see him again!”
Will you get that tie? Of course. Will you win the love and admiration of the salesman? That’s something else again. He will give you a free tie because of his emotional involvement in the situation, not because of his affection for you.
Would the nibble have worked if he hadn’t invested an inordinate amount of time? No. The success of a nibble is in direct proportion to the amount of time invested. No time investment, no dice. That’s why you should always induce the other side to invest in a situation. And that’s why your initial approach to a negotiation should always be collaborative, as though you’re hungry for help.