Our best thoughts come from others.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Acknowledgments

This book, like any other, has a long ancestry. Many people and experiences have shaped my thinking over the years. In this respect, it is honest and accurate to say that work on this manuscript began a long time ago.

Despite this qualification, what follows is primarily the product of thirty years of direct involvement in thousands of negotiations. During this period, I have profited immensely from working with many distinguished thinkers and doers, in both government and the private sector.

However, I would be remiss if I did not specifically mention some individuals who contributed to my development. Though they cannot be held responsible for anything I have written, their names follow: Robert E. Alberts, Saul D. Alinsky, Renee Blumenthal, Harlan Cleveland, Michael Di Nunzio, Viktor E. Frankl, Jay Haley, Eric Hoffer, Eugene E. Jennings, George F. Kennan, Marya Mannes, Norman Podhoretz, Bill Rosen, Bertrand Russell, Arthur Sabath, Francis A. Sinatra, and of course, Esther Greenspun.

To others, who left their mark on these pages, I extend my appreciation—specifically George Elrick, Eleanor Harvie, Anita Lurie, and my best friend, Larry King. I am indebted to Carole Livingston for her advice and to my publisher, Lyle Stuart, for his unique blend of risk taking and patience.

Above all, I want to thank my life partner and wife, Ellen, for her involvement and support. This undertaking would not have even been contemplated, let alone completed, without her.

Before you go any further, let me elaborate upon three things that you will notice as you proceed.

First, I wish to assure the majority of my readers that I intend no slight in using the masculine tense predominantly. In writing this book, I spent endless hours trying to grapple with the semantic bias of the English language. My initial attempts to eliminate the pronoun problem resulted in prose that was either confusing or clumsy. Consequently, you may occasionally come across a bit of verbal sexism. When this occurs, accept my apology. Obviously, I do not believe that because Eve was fashioned from Adam’s rib, women are a side issue. In this age of emancipation, the fault lies primarily in our fatherland’s mother tongue.

Second, I have chosen not to furnish any footnotes, references, or technical texts to support the concepts or ideas in this book. My purpose was not to produce a scholarly work for the specialist, but to write a practical and readable guide for laypeople. The thoughts and examples must make sense on their own. If they don’t, even a divine footnote cannot provide salvation.

Third, I have “painted with a broad brush,” so you will not become mired in technicality or legalese. This was done to make it easy to understand the broad underlying concepts. Obviously, in some instances I have made suggestions tongue in cheek, in a figurative sense—not to be taken literally.

It is not my intention to prescribe behavior or tell you what you should want. Instead, my aim is to illuminate your reality and its opportunities. In doing so, I will point out thinking and behavior that may be limiting you, as well as options and alternatives from which you can choose. Each of you will then, within your own comfort and belief system, have a way of getting what you want, based on your unique needs.

H.C.

Northbrook, Illinois

September 1980