When we look deeply into anything, we see that its existence is possible only because of the existence of everything else. From the point of view of time, we say impermanence, and from the point of view of space, we say nonself. Things cannot remain themselves for two consecutive moments; therefore, there is nothing that can be called a permanent self. From one moment to the next, you are different physically and mentally. Looking deeply at impermanence, you see nonself. Looking deeply at nonself, you see impermanence. We see that we are made of non-us elements, and in us we can recognize ancestors, parents, cultures, society—everything. This teaching can be made simple enough that children, too, can understand it. For example, we can visualize the family element in us:
Within me I see my father as a five-year-old child, small and vulnerable.
I smile to him with compassion.
Such a guided meditation can help us touch the truth of nonself. When you know you are made of non-you elements, you know that your father is in you, fully alive in every cell of your body, and his suffering is still there in you. This kind of practice can bring the insight of interbeing and nonself. It can liberate you from any anger you have toward him.
Insight brings love, and love isn’t possible without insight. If you don’t understand, you can’t love. This is insight, direct understanding, and not just an idea. In meditation we allow the light of that insight to shine on us. Nothing has a separate existence, a separate self. Everything has to inter-be with everything else.