The Four-Part Nonviolent Communication Process
| Clearly expressing how I am without blaming or criticizing |
Empathically receiving how you are without hearing blame or criticism |
OBSERVATIONS
1. What I observe (see, hear, remember, imagine, free from my evaluations) that does or does not contribute to my well-being: “When I (see, hear) … ” |
1. What you observe (see, hear, remember, imagine, free from your evaluations) that does or does not contribute to your well-being: “When you see/hear … ” (Sometimes unspoken when offering empathy) |
FEELINGS
2. How I feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what I observe: “I feel … ” |
2. How you feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what you observe: “You feel …” |
NEEDS
3. What I need or value (rather than a preference, or a specific action) that causes my feelings: “ … because I need/value … ” |
3. What you need or value (rather than a preference, or a specific action) that causes your feelings: “ … because you need/value …” |
| Clearly requesting that which would enrich my life without demanding | Empathically receiving that which would enrich your life without hearing any demand |
REQUESTS
4. The concrete actions I would like taken: “Would you be willing to … ?” |
4. The concrete actions you would like taken: “Would you like … ?” (Sometimes unspoken when offering empathy) |
© Marshall B. Rosenberg. For more information about Marshall B. Rosenberg or the Center for Nonviolent Communication, please visit www.CNVC.org.