Distinguishing Observations From Evaluations

The following table distinguishes observations that are separate from evaluation from those that have evaluation mixed in.

Communication	Example of observation with evaluation mixed in	Example of observation separate from evaluation
1. Use of verb to be without indication that the evaluator takes responsibility for the evaluation	You are too generous.	When I see you give all your lunch money to others, I think you are being too generous.
2. Use of verbs with evaluative connotations	Doug procrastinates.	Doug only studies for exams the night before.
3. Implication that one’s inferences about another person’s thoughts, feelings, intentions, or desires are the only ones possible	She won’t get her work in.	I don’t think she’ll get her work in. or She said, “I won’t get my work in.”
4. Confusion of prediction with certainty	If you don’t eat balanced meals, your health will be impaired.	If you don’t eat balanced meals, I fear your health may be impaired.
5. Failure to be specific about referents	Immigrants don’t take care of their property.	I have not seen the immigrant family living at 1679 Ross shovel the snow on their sidewalk.
6. Use of words denoting ability without indicating that an evaluation is being made	Hank Smith is a poor soccer player.	Hank Smith has not scored a goal in twenty games.
7. Use of adverbs and adjectives in ways that do not indicate an evaluation has been made	Jim is ugly.	Jim’s looks don’t appeal to me.

Note: The words always, never, ever, whenever, etc. express observations when used in the following ways:

Whenever I have observed Jack on the phone, he has spoken for at least thirty minutes.
I cannot recall your ever writing to me.

Sometimes such words are used as exaggerations, in which case observations and evaluations are being mixed:

When these words are used as exaggerations, they often provoke defensiveness rather than compassion.

Words like frequently and seldom can also contribute to confusing observation with evaluation.

Evaluations	Observations
You seldom do what I want.	The last three times I initiated an activity, you said you didn’t want to do it.
He frequently comes over.	He comes over at least three times a week.