Step 5: Become Mindful
Now that you are getting a lot of practice with the C of CBT skills (that is, the cognitive part), you are becoming more and more skillful at identifying mistakes in thinking, challenging them, and coming up with healthier alternatives that lead you away from drinking and using. In this chapter, you will learn a new set of skills to complement those cognitive therapy techniques.
Remember how we talked about the fact that sometimes it’s hard to think your way through an uncomfortable moment when you’re having a craving? Cognitive techniques like thought challenging can be difficult to use at times, especially when the craving feels very powerful, or you can’t clear your head, or you’re too overwhelmed to come up with healthier thoughts to replace the irrational ones. Mindfulness skills can be very helpful to you in a moment like that. When you use mindfulness techniques, rather than trying to change what you’re thinking, or come up with alternatives, you learn to accept and tolerate unpleasant thoughts or experiences (such as cravings) without drinking or using in response to them.
The purpose of this chapter is to give you a basic understanding of what mindfulness is, to show you how mindfulness techniques and meditation can be helpful to you in your recovery, and to give you some practice exercises so that you can familiarize yourself with how to use them.
Mindfulness, one of the most widely used and studied forms of meditation, was first introduced to Western psychology by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School (Kabat-Zinn 1990). He developed an eight-week program called mindfulness-based stress reduction, originally to help people with chronic pain; from there, the treatment was extended to individuals suffering from anxiety and depression (Kabat-Zinn et al. 1992; Roemer and Orsillo 2003; Ramel et al. 2004; Evans et al. 2008) and cancer (Carlson et al. 2004), and finally to normal, healthy adults struggling with stress (Astin 1997; Shapiro, Schwartz, and Bonner 1998; Williams et al. 2001).
If you’re not experienced with meditation, you are probably wondering what mindfulness is, exactly. Mindfulness is defined as “awareness that emerges through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience, moment by moment.” (Kabat-Zinn 2003, 145). Let’s take a look at what that means:
Now that you have a good sense of what mindfulness is, you are probably wondering how it can be useful for addiction. It is only in very recent years that this approach has been adapted specifically to help people with addictions, based on several known facts about mindfulness and drug and alcohol problems:
Getting Started: Being Present
When you get out of bed in the morning and start getting ready to begin your day, is your mind in the present, or is it off somewhere else? Here’s an example of how you’d know: When you’re brushing your teeth in the morning, are you paying attention to the way that the bristles feel as they circle around against your teeth, or the minty sensation of the toothpaste in your mouth? Chances are, the answer is no. When you brush your teeth, your mind is probably doing what minds naturally do—they plan and anticipate what’s to come, and when they are not jumping into the future, they are reviewing past experiences. So you might be thinking about the day ahead of you, reminding yourself what time your first commitment starts, or planning how you are going to approach a meeting or interaction you know you are going to have that day. Maybe you’re reviewing something that happened yesterday or last week, playing a tape of it back in your mind.
This “mode” of doing things without being present as you do them, is called automatic pilot (Bowen, Chawla, and Marlatt 2010). You can do a lot of things in automatic pilot mode, especially things that you do every day. Certain elements of your daily routine (like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, eating breakfast, or driving to work or school) are so well rehearsed, that you don’t need to think about them as you are doing them. Your mind feels free to wander, and it makes its way into the past or the future. When you learn mindfulness skills, you purposely keep your mind in the here and now, gently bringing it back to the present whenever it wanders off.
What does this have to do with addiction? you might be wondering. The concept of automatic pilot is actually very relevant to addiction, and here’s how: Over time, addictive behaviors become like habits. Have you ever found yourself drinking or using without being completely aware of how or why you started? It’s something you’ve probably done many times without really thinking about it, or without any awareness that there were thoughts, emotions, and possibly physical sensations that led up to it (Marlatt and Ostafin 2005). As you learn to become more connected to your experience in the present, you can begin to make a shift from reacting automatically and out of habit to your thoughts and feelings to making mindful choices about your behavior (especially those that involve drugs and alcohol) with kindness and self-compassion. These mindful choices about drinking and using become available to you when you are tuned in and aware of your urges and cravings as they occur.
To begin to step out of automatic pilot, you are going to be introduced to a series of exercises. When you practice the principles of mindfulness, try not to judge yourself. If you are new to mindfulness or to meditation in general, the exercises may seem a little awkward. You may find yourself wondering whether or not you’re doing them right. Remember that there is no right or wrong when you are practicing mindfulness; you are simply learning to observe your experience. Whether the experience feels good, bad, strange, or neutral, you will simply observe it, bringing your mind gently and kindly back to it whenever it wanders (and it will, because all minds do!). This is a skill that takes practice, so try to be patient. You’ll get the hang of it with time.
Exercise 7.1: Observe Your Body
To become an observer of your experience, you will first need a little bit of practice with the skill of observing. In this first exercise, you are going to practice observing your body, or your physical self. Keep in mind that this exercise is not intended to make you feel a certain way; it is not a relaxation exercise, but rather an exercise in observation. What you are practicing here is becoming present and aware of your physical body, whether that feels relaxing, neutral, or even uncomfortable. Just observe it, whatever it is.
Begin by sitting in a comfortable position, taking a moment to notice the movement of your breath, the rising and the falling of your chest with each inhale and exhale. Stay with your breath in this way for a minute. When you’re ready, bring your awareness to the physical sensations in your body, beginning with the sensations of your body making contact with your chair, and your feet making contact with the ground. Just take a moment to observe how that feels. If you’re feeling restless, or distracted by thoughts, sounds, or things that you can see in your environment, just congratulate yourself for noticing that your mind has wandered, and gently bring yourself back to awareness of your body.
Now bring your awareness to your feet. Notice any sensations you have in your feet, paying attention to their temperature, the way their contact with your shoes (if you’re wearing any) feels, the sensations of the toes touching each other, and any sensations on the sole, top of the foot, and ankle.
Moving away from the feet, bring your awareness to your legs. Use your awareness of your legs to explore every sensation there, beginning with anything you feel in your calves, your knees, and your thighs. Pay attention to the areas of your legs that make contact with your chair, noticing the sensations there.
Now gently guide your awareness to your hips and waist. If you observe any pain or discomfort, just practice being aware of it and letting it be as it is. Moving your awareness to your back, begin with your lower back and bring your attention to any sensations there. Now move to your upper back, paying attention to where your back makes contact with your chair. Notice any tension or discomfort.
Next, guide your attention to your arms. Beginning at your hands and moving upward, bring your awareness to any sensations you feel in your wrists, forearms, elbows, upper arms, and finally, shoulders. Now focus your attention on your neck. Notice any tension there. Moving up the neck, begin exploring the sensations on your face. Bring your attention to the sensations you feel on your forehead, eyelids, eyebrows, nose, and cheeks.
Moving to your lips, bring your attention to your jaw and chin. Just notice any sensations there. Then bring your awareness to the very top of your head. Now that you’ve explored the sensations in the various parts of your body, just take a few moments to experience your body as a whole, connecting again with your breath as you did when you began this exercise.
The intention behind doing exercises like this, that teach you to use mindful awareness when paying attention to your body, is to help you learn the skill of being present. It sounds simple, but it takes a tremendous amount of practice for most people to get comfortable with this. When doing any mindfulness meditation practice, try and remember to approach it with these few points in mind (which were reviewed earlier, but you are reminded of them here for emphasis):
• This exercise is not intended to help you relax or have a certain kind of new experience within your body. Try to let go of any expectations about how this exercise will feel, and just let it be whatever it is. Remember that the purpose of the exercise is to be present and aware of whatever your experience is.
• If you get distracted, or you feel strange doing the exercise, or if you like or dislike it, just notice those aspects of your experience and gently bring your attention back to the exercise.
• Be open and curious about your experience, without judging or trying to change it. Practice accepting your experience just the way that it is. You can even try telling yourself, This is just the way things are right now. This can be helpful to you when you are practicing the exercise itself or when you are using mindfulness in your daily life, to cope with uncomfortable emotions, urges, cravings, or other experiences that you may find stressful or difficult.
Daily life is full of opportunities to practice mindfulness, without a workbook in front of you. Think about all of the things that you do automatically, without thinking. Take driving, for example. When you are driving your car, do you pay attention to what your foot feels like when it makes contact with the gas pedal, or when it shifts from the gas pedal to the brake? Are you aware of the coordination between your hands on the steering wheel and the continuous movements of your feet, integrating your mind’s intentions to head straight or turn right, and slow down or speed up at the same time? If you’re like most people, the answer to these questions is “no.” When you’re driving, you are probably planning what you are going to do when you arrive at your destination, or what you’ll be doing later that day. Maybe your mind fast-forwards to the weekend, and what you have planned. Maybe you think about things that you are worried about. Or maybe you are talking on the phone as you drive, and it’s that conversation that occupies your mind’s space.
Driving is just one example of things that we can do easily in automatic pilot mode. Other things we do without being present include eating, bathing, washing our hands, and walking. In this next exercise, you are going to try a few of these daily activities with mindful awareness.
Exercise 7.2: Bringing Mindfulness Practice into Your Daily Life
Practice being present and aware as you do each of the activities below. As you pay attention to your experience, notice how your mind naturally wanders away from the activity and gently bring it back to the present moment.
After you complete each exercise, ask yourself some questions about it: What did you experience? What did you notice? Were there sensations (physical sensations, feelings, smells, or other sensations) that you were not aware of before you approached the activity in this way? What were they? Jot down some of your observations in the space provided after each exercise.
Take a Mindful Shower
The mindful shower is a nice way to begin your day with awareness. This could set the tone for your entire day, helping you to notice when you are in automatic pilot so that you can purposely shift your attention to the present moment.
Begin by slowly setting your right foot into the shower, paying attention to the sensation of your foot making contact with the floor. Transferring the weight of your body entirely to your right foot and leg, notice, as you lift your left foot and move it forward to join your right foot on the shower floor, the sensations in your left leg as it rises into the air, and in your left foot as it makes contact with the floor. Notice your body’s stability in this standing position.
As you turn on the shower, move the dial slowly, paying attention to the way your hand grasps the dial, and the intention with which it moves the dial to the position that turns it on and adjusts it to your preference. Guide your attention to the sensations you feel on your skin as the droplets of water make contact with it. Pay attention to the temperature of the water and how the temperature of your skin changes as the water touches it.
Next, spend a few moments guiding your awareness to the sounds that you hear as the water emerges from the showerhead and makes contact with your body. If you find that your mind is wandering, worrying, planning, reviewing, or thinking about anything else, congratulate yourself for noticing this and guide your awareness back to the present moment, in the shower.
Notice any smells. Maybe the soap has a familiar smell. Spend a few moments guiding your attention to anything you can smell.
After you get out of the shower, see if you can continue your routine of getting ready with this mindful approach. Then make some notes about your experience.
My observations during my mindful shower:
Eat Mindfully
In this exercise, you will pay attention to your experience of eating, moment by moment. Try it with a piece of fruit—an apple, orange, or banana. When you try this for the first time, remember that it will be just you having a few minutes with the fruit, so keep the television and radio off, and try to minimize sources of distraction.
First, without holding it yet, take a look at the fruit as though you’ve never seen it before. Notice its shape, its color, and any other features that you can see. Pay attention to whether it needs to be peeled to be eaten. After you’ve taken in its appearance, pick up the fruit and look at it more closely. Notice if your mind wanders or if you find yourself making any judgments about the activity itself. When this happens, be kind to yourself, gently bringing your attention back to the fruit.
Next, bring the fruit to your ear to see if it makes any sounds. Gently acknowledge any impatience or other feelings that come up during the exercise, bringing your attention back to the fruit each time. Now bring the fruit near to your nose, observing whether you are able to smell it, and if so, how it smells—whether the smell is familiar, sweet, sour, or neutral.
As you prepare to take a bite, bring it slowly to your mouth, but before your mouth makes contact, notice how it is preparing to receive the fruit. Notice whether saliva is forming and where on your tongue you can feel it. As you take a bite from the fruit, notice how it feels resting inside of your mouth. Keep it there for a moment before you begin to chew it, noticing how it feels, and what the sensations in your mouth are like, once the fruit is resting inside of it. When you begin to chew it, pay attention to the flavors that it releases, how the texture of the fruit changes as you continue to chew it, and the way it feels between your teeth. Notice when the intention to swallow begins, and how that feels. Finally, as you begin to swallow, pay attention of the movement of the fruit into the back of your mouth, and your esophagus.
Repeat this practice as you take your next bites out of the fruit. You might even reflect, in between bites, on how this fruit was grown and cared for, both by conditions of nature and by the actions of human beings, until you were able to bring it home. This may help you to recognize how things around you are connected—even something as simple as a piece of fruit.
My observations during mindful eating:
Walk Mindfully
For this activity, choose a space, perhaps in your home, where you have some room to walk around—such as a long hallway or a room with enough space to walk in a circle. It will be helpful if you can have somebody read these instructions to you while you practice.
Begin by standing still, noticing the physical sensations on the bottom of your feet, where they make contact with the floor, and noticing the weight of your body that is supported by your legs and feet. When you are ready, slowly shift the weight of your body onto your right foot, noticing the sensations that you experience in your right leg and foot as you relieve your left leg from your weight. Then, as you lift your left foot from the ground, guide your attention to the sensations in your left foot and leg as they lift, and then as they descend downward and forward, and the heel makes contact with the ground.
With your left foot firmly on the ground, gently guide your awareness to the sensations you feel as you shift your body weight to the left side, noticing how the weight of your body is received by your left leg and foot, and noticing the sensation of lightness on your right leg and foot as they are relieved of the weight. Now, gently lift your right foot from the ground and, as you move it forward, pay attention to the sensations in your right leg and foot as you place your right heel to the floor, shifting your weight off of the left leg and foot and on to the right side.
Notice the patterns of changing sensations in your two legs and feet as you make this step. If your mind wanders away from this process of walking, simply notice it and gently bring your attention back to the sensations in your legs and feet. Practice walking mindfully for a few minutes.
My observations during mindful walking:
Since we are all breathing all of the time, mindful breathing can be a “go-to” skill that you can use any time, in any situation, as a way of redirecting your attention to the present moment. It can be very useful when you are first trying to learn mindfulness skills, as you can use it like this: Any time you are having difficulty guiding your attention to a particular sensation, you can always just spend a few moments focusing on your breath, and then return to the specific activity that you were doing. In addiction recovery, mindful breathing can be a very useful tool when you experience an uncomfortable emotion or craving. Once you learn how to breathe mindfully, you’ll have a mindfulness technique you can use specifically for coping with cravings or urges to drink or use. Let’s begin with a brief practice of breathing with awareness.
Exercise 7.3: Breathing with Awareness
Like all of the other exercises you’ve completed so far, remember when you try this one that it is not intended to change the way you breathe or to relax you (even though you might find that one or both of these things occur). The purpose of the exercise is simply to become aware of your breath and to observe it with openness and curiosity. You can begin by doing this exercise for about five minutes, and as you practice it more often, you can increase the time you spend on it to as long as thirty minutes, if it is comfortable to do so.
Begin by finding a comfortable place to sit. Bring your awareness to the way your body feels in the chair, and to where it makes contact with the chair and the floor. Spend a few moments exploring these sensations.
When you are ready, turn your attention to your breath. Notice how your breath enters your body through your nose and moves through your body to your lungs. You may notice that your abdomen rises and falls with each inhale and exhale. If it is helpful in connecting your attention to the experience of breathing, you can try placing your hand on your abdomen.
Observe whatever you can about your breath, with openness and curiosity. Gently guide your attention to the temperature of your breath, noticing if it becomes cooler or warmer as you breathe in and as you breathe out. Notice the air entering your body with each inhale and exiting your body with each exhale.
Whether your breathing is slow or fast, deep or shallow, just allow your body to breathe how it breathes naturally, without judging it or trying to change it in any way. As thoughts enter your mind, just notice them and allow them to be there, gently guiding your awareness back to your breath. Practice breathing with awareness in this way for a few minutes.
Putting It All Together: Using Mindfulness for Addiction Recovery
You might be wondering how mindful breathing, showering, and walking are going to help you recover successfully from your addiction. They may seem unrelated, but now that you have practiced a little bit of mindful awareness, you can apply what you’ve learned to help you cope with urges and temptations to use alcohol or drugs, without slipping into automatic pilot mode (which can lead you to unhealthy decisions and behaviors, like relapsing). The practice of remaining connected with your present experience can help you get through a craving without relapsing for the following reasons:
What’s the difference between reacting and responding? you might be wondering. Reacting is something that we do automatically, without thinking. When we feel that we are standing too close to something hot, such as a fire, we react intuitively by moving away from it. Our intuition says, That doesn’t feel good; it can hurt you. Get away from it. When you are addicted to something, your intuition may not lead you to a healthy decision that favors your recovery. Remember that intuition is not something that involves weighing the consequences of your behavior. If you rely on your intuition, you may react to temptations and difficult situations in ways that feel self-protective (such as drinking or using to eliminate discomfort), but are not.
When you practice being connected with your experience of temptations and uncomfortable sensations during a craving, you can begin to trace these experiences back and understand how they have led you to automatic responses such as drinking or using in the past. In the here and now, when you practice mindfulness during a craving, you can connect with what is happening and observe it first, and then decide, with awareness, how you would like to choose to respond to it. When you approach your experience this way, rather than letting your addicted brain guide you to an automatic, conditioned response to a craving or temptation (like drinking or using), you can exercise more control over your behavior, weighing its consequences before you act. In this next exercise, you will learn a mindfulness technique that you can use when you experience a craving or temptation to drink or use.
Exercise 7.4: SOBER Breathing
Now that you have some experience with mindful breathing, this technique for connecting with the present moment will probably be very easy for you to learn. It takes just a minute or two to practice, making it an ideal go-to skill when you’re in a tempting, stressful, or otherwise upsetting situation. You can use the acronym SOBER to help you remember the steps (Bowen, Chawla, and Marlatt 2010), summarized below:
Stop: When you find yourself in a tempting situation, the first thing you need to do to connect with the present moment is to stop and step out of automatic pilot mode. When you stop, you interrupt that automatic sequence of behaviors that can follow a craving or a strong emotion, and it’s that very sequence that you are working on changing when you are in addiction recovery.
Observe: Once you’ve stopped and stepped out of automatic pilot, the next step is to observe your experience. Observe what is happening, right in the moment. Ask yourself what you are feeling right now. Using the example of a craving, observe where you feel it in your body, any thoughts you have about drinking or using, and any emotions you might be experiencing. Notice yourself allowing the presence of these uncomfortable aspects of your experience—letting them be just as they are, rather than pushing them away.
Breathe: You’ve taken yourself out of automatic pilot and observed your present experience. The next step is to connect with your breath. Take a moment to do this, guiding your attention to the movement of your breath.
Expand your awareness: Broadening your focus from the movement of your breath, you can now expand your awareness to include your entire body as a whole, connecting with all of the sensations you are experiencing in the present moment.
Respond mindfully: We’ve been talking about responding with mindful awareness, rather than reacting in automatic pilot. This is the final step in the SOBER breathing exercise. Now that you have connected with your experience and your breath, you can consider the range of choices that you have in this situation. Recognize that you can accept the discomfort that you’re feeling. And while you are allowing it to be there, just as it is, you can still respond by choosing, with mindful awareness, what action to take. You are in a better place to consider the consequences of the different choices you can make, and choose to respond to the discomfort you are experiencing in a way that is nurturing, self-protective, and consistent with your recovery goals.
One way that you can begin to practice the SOBER breathing exercise is to imagine a situation in which you would tempted to drink or use. As you picture yourself in this situation, practice the SOBER mindful awareness technique. First, stop. Next, observe what is happening to you as you imagine yourself in this situation, focusing on any discomfort you feel physically, emotionally, or in your thoughts. The goal is to acknowledge the discomfort without judging yourself for it or trying to change it. Third, focus on your breath. Then expand your awareness to include your whole body, noticing any sensations you might be experiencing. And finally, imagining yourself in this risky situation, think about the choices that you can make, as part of the process of responding mindfully. Ask yourself how you can best take care of yourself and preserve your recovery in this situation.
Imagine yourself making the best choice you could in that situation, the response that will keep you clean and sober. Maybe it’s leaving the situation, or calling a friend, or finding a way to distract yourself. Whatever response you decide upon, guide your attention to the way that you feel after making this choice, noticing the sensations you experience in your body, how you are feeling emotionally, and any thoughts you might be having. Following this exercise, jot down a few notes about anything you noticed as you used the SOBER breathing technique, including any sensations, thoughts, emotions, or judgments you might have had about your experience.
My observations during my SOBER breathing exercise:
To become comfortable enough with the SOBER breathing technique to use it any time you need a “go-to” skill to cope with an unpleasant emotion or craving, try practicing using it in a range of situations:
Start by practicing when you’re feeling stressed. Write down some notes about your sensations, thoughts, and feelings, and any judgments, distractions, or other aspects of your experience. Was it helpful in this situation?
My observations from using SOBER in a stressful situation:
Try the exercise when you experience an unpleasant emotion—such as sadness, anxiety, anger, or any other emotion that you tend to react to in automatic pilot mode, without thinking about it.
My observations from using SOBER in response to an unpleasant emotion:
Try using SOBER breathing when you experience a temptation or craving to drink or use.
My observations from using SOBER in response to an urge or temptation:
Throughout this chapter, whether you’ve realized it or not, you’ve been working on acceptance. Each of the mindfulness meditation exercises you’ve done so far has involved some instruction about letting whatever you experience be as it is, even if it is unpleasant. That is the practice of acceptance. Why is this so important in recovery, you might be wondering? It is important because acceptance is the opposite of what your addicted brain tells you to do. Learning to practice acceptance can help you conquer your addicted brain, and put your rational brain in charge.
You might recall learning, in chapter 1, about the addicted brain’s tendency to get stuck in go mode. The go mode is the part of you that says, Get rid of that craving before it feels any worse. Go. Have a drink, or You don’t have to feel sad. Go. Smoke some weed. You’ll feel so much better. Or if you tend to use when you feel good rather than when you feel bad, your addicted brain might be saying, Why let this good feeling end? Go. Use some cocaine. Until now, the voice of your addicted brain has led you to use alcohol or drugs either to avoid unpleasant feelings or to prolong positive ones.
One of the biggest challenges this poses in recovery is that the more you follow your tendency to try and avoid or get rid of the unpleasant feelings and sensations that cravings bring about, the more intense they tend to get. The same goes for other uncomfortable emotions, such as sadness, grief, anxiety, or anger. When you try to run away from these feelings, they usually come back stronger. A key aspect of practicing mindfulness is learning to accept that discomfort is there, while recognizing at the same time that your actions don’t have to be dictated by your natural desire to get rid of it. Here are a few things you can tell yourself to practice acceptance:
Hillary’s Story
Hillary, a thirty-four-year old woman in recovery from alcohol and cocaine addiction, lost her mom six months ago. Before that time, she had been sober for nearly three months, and she helped her mother through a very difficult battle with cancer before she died. After losing her mom, Hillary relapsed and started drinking and using cocaine again. She felt like she just couldn’t tolerate the sadness and the emptiness, and drinking and using was the only way that she could escape it.
About two weeks ago, Hillary realized that the alcohol and cocaine she was using were making her feel more and more depressed, so she decided to try getting sober again. In the first few weeks of her recovery, a lot of sad thoughts and feelings come rushing in about her mom, and at those moments, Hillary feels strong urges to drink and use. When she begins practicing mindfulness, Hillary becomes more comfortable with the idea of acceptance.
She starts to use the SOBER exercise during moments of sadness and grief about her mom. When she observes those feelings in her mind and body, she brings her attention to her breath. Using her breath to connect her attention to her mind and body in the present moment, she is able to feel a little bit stronger and more able to allow herself to feel the different emotions about her loss, and to say to herself, It’s okay for me to feel what I’m feeling right now. It may not be what I want to feel, but I can tolerate and accept it for what it is. I seem to be coping with it better than I thought I could. I will just keep on trying to be present with it, since trying to escape it doesn’t really help.
With these thoughts in mind, she continues to practice breathing into the experience and staying present with it, without turning to alcohol or cocaine to try to numb it. Her sadness gradually becomes something that she can tolerate and accept.
Kindness and compassion are both characteristics that can enable you to practice mindfulness. For those of us who have the tendency to be self-critical, even though it may come naturally to take a kind and compassionate approach to understanding and communicating with others, we don’t necessarily use that same approach toward ourselves. Being mindful is about being present in a nonjudgmental way; whatever arises when practicing mindfulness, if you can have a kind and friendly spirit toward it, you will be less likely to judge or criticize yourself for it. If you’re distracted or bothered by an urge or craving to drink or use when you are practicing mindfulness meditation, and are able to connect with the experience with a kind and welcoming spirit, this will have the effect of making you more open to your experience, and more able to be present with it. Judgment, and the desire to escape or avoid things that are unpleasant or unfamiliar, will be less likely to interfere with your mindfulness practice.
Compassion is a close relative of kindness, but it is not exactly the same thing. Compassion is a tender and sympathetic emotional reaction to the presence of pain or sorrow. When you practice mindfulness, having compassion for yourself will help to relieve you of negative and critical inner dialogues. These dialogues not only interfere with your ability to remain present, but they can easily drive you to use alcohol or drugs. When you approach your own pain and sorrow with compassion, you can make choices about how to respond mindfully to those experiences in a way that is nurturing and self-protective, preserving your recovery.
In this chapter you had the opportunity to learn about what mindfulness is, and how developing a practice of mindfulness can be helpful to you in your recovery. By acquiring the skills that enable you to approach daily life mindfully, you are making great strides in accepting the discomfort that you naturally face during recovery and taking a more open, accepting approach to dealing with it. This is not an easy thing to do, but with practice, you can use this approach to stay in control of your responses to cravings and other difficult experiences, rather than reacting to these experiences impulsively, with your addicted brain in the driver’s seat.
In the next chapter, you’re going to find ways to increase joy, pleasure, and fulfillment in your life. With mindfulness skills in your back pocket, you will be able to experience these positive emotions at a deeper level.