Step 2: Set Yourself Up to Succeed
In the last chapter, you explored and strengthened your motivation for recovery. Now that you have clear in your mind the reasons why you want and need to change your use of alcohol or drugs, it is time to make certain adjustments in your life that will set you up for the smoothest possible road to recovery. To maximize your chances of success, you will need to be prepared for the challenges that come along in early recovery. Many of these are going to be right in front of you, in your immediate environment; they can include people, places, and things that trigger urges to drink or use. Some of these triggers will be easier for you to manage than others. This chapter will prepare you to anticipate these challenges and plan ahead for them.
You’re going to learn about several different ways to be prepared for the obstacles that lie ahead: First, you’ll learn about why you’ll need to get things that might tempt you to use out of your home environment. You’ll also learn how to be mindful of your recovery when making everyday decisions that can affect it. And you will read about the importance of introducing an exercise program into your recovery plan. Next, you’ll give some thought to your social life, and ways to increase your social support for recovery. Finally, you’ll learn how to enhance your current close relationships and enlist the help of your loved ones in your recovery by using assertive communication.
Get Rid of “Stuff” That Helps You Drink Or Use
As your addiction developed, you formed very powerful associations between drinking or using and the “stuff” that you used to do it. What kind of stuff? you might be wondering. That depends on what your preferred substance is. Let’s take pot, for example. Rolling papers, bongs, and pipes are examples of the different types of things that helped you to use. Now, those things themselves, because of the strong association in your mind between them and using pot, can trigger very strong urges to get high. For someone who has just stopped smoking pot, opening a drawer and finding a pipe in it can create a powerful craving. For this reason, getting all of that stuff out of your immediate environment (your home, backpack, purse, car, or anywhere else you keep it) is one of the very first steps you will need to take to prevent a slip or a relapse. If your preferred substance is alcohol, then you might need to get your favorite wine glass or shot glass out of your home. Or if you’ve injected any drugs, then this would mean getting needles or syringes out of your environment. And most important of all, having your substance itself within reach is an extremely powerful trigger. So if you have leftover pot, alcohol, pills, or other substances that you are trying to quit using in your home, you’ll need to get rid of those as well.
If you’re like most people in early recovery, this is not exactly music to your ears. You probably have some questions about these rules, and you may have some objections. Before we address those, take a moment to think about the importance of your recovery in your life, and the reasons you listed in the last chapter for quitting. Look back at the list if you can’t remember all of them off the top of your head. Think about how motivated you are to quit, and whether you are ready to take the necessary steps to do so successfully, even if they are hard at first.
Below, you’ll find some very common concerns and reactions that people have to the idea of getting rid of their “stuff” (also referred to as paraphernalia), followed by some “recovery friendly” ways to think about these concerns.
Recovery mindset: Although it’s true that all of these things cost money, think about how much continuing to drink or use will cost you, both financially and in other ways. Your priority right now is to put as many barriers between yourself and a relapse as you can. Having all of this stuff around makes it easy for you to drink or use on a whim. Your goal is to create more barriers. The value of your paraphernalia is nothing compared to the value of your new life in recovery.
Recovery mindset: Because drinking alcohol is socially acceptable and common, this is a common sticking point. Having alcohol around to please others is something to rethink, even though you may need some time to come to terms with the risk that this poses to you. Here’s the inner dialogue to try and adopt to help you prioritize your recovery: If having alcohol in the house makes me more vulnerable to relapse, then I can’t afford to have it here. My guests will learn to accept that my place is alcohol-free. If it’s really important for them to drink, we can plan a social gathering at a restaurant, where they can order a drink.
Recovery mindset: A lot of people in early recovery come into it with the idea that willpower is a sign of progress. But there is a saying that has been used in some of the most effective CBT-based treatments for addiction: “Be Smart, Not Strong!” (Rawson et al. 2004). What that means is, testing yourself in an attempt to prove that you have willpower or strength will place you at risk for a relapse. We know from research studies using brain imaging that being exposed to visual triggers (such as seeing paraphernalia) for as little as thirty-three milliseconds can activate the addicted part of the brain and start a craving (Childress et al. 2008). You can’t always control whether you are exposed to a trigger, but whenever possible, it is better for your recovery to be smart and avoid it than to try to be strong enough to resist it, placing yourself at risk for relapse.
Exercise 4.1: Paraphernalia
Below you’ll find a list of some of the things to remove from your immediate environment. Check off the ones that apply to you:
Alcohol
Pills
Marijuana
Any other drugs that you’ve used (even if not your preferred substance)
Lighters
Mirrors
Ashtrays
Pipes
Rolling papers
Bongs
Needles
Phone numbers (of dealers or contacts you use to find drugs)—delete from your phone
Medical marijuana card
Other paraphernalia to get rid of:
Now that you’ve identified the things to remove, you need a plan. Do you feel confident that you can get rid of these things on your own, or do you need someone to do this with you? You can turn to a loved one who is supportive of your recovery, a 12-step sponsor if you have one, or an addiction treatment provider or counselor. Make a point of not procrastinating about this; once all of those temptations are out of your way, things will begin to get a little bit easier.
Become Aware of Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions
One of the most important psychological adjustments you will make as you enter recovery is to recognize that a lot of your decisions, from now on, need to be made carefully, with your sobriety in mind. There are decisions you will make about where to go, with whom to socialize, and what kinds of things to do for fun that can have a profound effect on your recovery, even if they don’t seem related. Seemingly irrelevant decisions are just what they sound like—they are little decisions that you make every day that may not seem, at the moment, to have any potential impact on your sobriety, because they don’t involve drinking or using directly. But they can move you closer to a relapse if you’re not aware of them. Let’s look at an example:
Jonathan Gets Triggered
Jonathan is a cocaine addict in early recovery. Jonathan was at a friend’s house watching the Super Bowl. When his team won, he and his buddies were so excited they wanted to celebrate. His friend Scott suggested that they head down the block to the karaoke bar. Jonathan hesitated for a moment. Since he’d used cocaine and alcohol together in the past, his recovery plan involved abstinence from alcohol as well as cocaine. After a quick deliberation, he thought, Well, why not? I’ll just sip on a soda or something. When they got there, a bunch of other good friends of theirs were already waiting for them. “Hey, Jonathan!” called an old college buddy, Gregory, from the bar. “I’ve got your drink all ready for you right here!” When Jonathan walked up, he saw the ice-cold beer sitting there on the table, and it was just too hard to resist. I’ll just have a beer; what’s the big deal? he thought. After one round turned into a few and his friends were still having a good time, one of his buddies told him that he had some cocaine. Although alcohol was not Jonathan’s “drug of choice,” drinking had been linked with cocaine use for him in the past. That night, Jonathan wound up relapsing on cocaine.
Thinking about Jonathan’s relapse, what thoughts come to mind about seemingly irrelevant decisions? For one, Jonathan was not thinking of the bar as a risky place. Going with his buddies to a bar after the game was a decision that was seemingly irrelevant to his recovery from cocaine addiction. This is a common mistake in thinking; when you expose yourself to a substance that is not your “drug of choice,” it can still make you vulnerable to relapse to be in a situation where drinking or using are going on, because it takes you outside of the recovery mindset. This is especially true in early recovery, when you are very vulnerable—more so than you might think.
Jonathan also had a plan not to drink alcohol just in case, but that did not work out so well once he was exposed to temptation and social pressure, when his friend had a drink sitting there waiting for him at the bar. This was part of the chain reaction (starting with the decision to go to the bar) that led Jonathan to relapse to cocaine. With alcohol in his system, Jonathan’s judgment was not as good as it might have been otherwise. Tracing the situation all the way back to the beginning, Jonathan’s seemingly irrelevant decision was going to the bar. If he had opted out of the post-game karaoke bar celebration, he would not have relapsed.
Here are a few suggestions to help you avoid making seemingly irrelevant decisions that will put you at risk:
Exercise Promotes Addiction Recovery
As you work your way through this chapter and begin thinking about ways of putting new behaviors into place to increase your chances of recovering successfully, you should be aware of what some of the most recent research on physical exercise in addiction recovery has shown. Everybody knows that physical exercise is good for overall health; you’ve probably heard somewhere that exercising regularly promotes both physical and mental well-being. The current guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control recommend two hours and thirty minutes of moderate aerobic exercise per week (Centers for Disease Control 2015), which can translate to about thirty minutes of aerobic activity (like walking, jogging, bicycling, or dancing) five days per week. Muscle strengthening exercises (such as resistance training) are also recommended twice per week. Sound tough to commit to? Well, it’s true that if you’ve been out of practice for a while, establishing a consistent regimen is not easy at first. But the exciting news is, there is a good reason to put in the effort: more and more studies have shown that physical exercise has beneficial effects on addiction recovery.
According to a recent series of studies (Rawson et al. 2015; Dolezal et al. 2013; Mooney et al. 2014), people in addiction recovery who do aerobic and muscle strengthening exercise according to the guidelines enjoy many positive mental and physical health benefits: they become more physically fit, they lose weight, they show improvements in psychological symptoms of depression and anxiety, and they are more successful in reducing their drug use, compared to a group of addicts in recovery who receive education about health without being involved in a regular exercise program.
In this same series of studies, it was also found that those who exercised during recovery showed changes in their brain cells. They had more of the brain’s pleasure chemical, dopamine, available after they exercised regularly for two months. This is important because it means that when you exercise in recovery, it can help restore your ability to experience pleasure and joy—and that can really serve you well, protecting you from one of the most common reasons that people relapse: negative emotions, including feeling unable to enjoy things. Now that new knowledge has shown that physical exercise can help you to stay sober and improve your mental health, it can become a very important and enjoyable part of your recovery plan.
One of the keys to success in making a commitment to exercise is to find something that you actually enjoy doing for exercise. Think about what you enjoy—do you like outdoor activities, like hiking, walking, jogging, or rock climbing? Do you enjoy swimming? Or are you someone who likes to dance, go to the gym and use exercise equipment, or do some other indoor exercise activity? Whatever you try, be sure it isn’t something that feels like a chore. If you’ve had the experience of counting down the minutes until a physical activity is over, then be sure that you don’t select that one again! If you can find something you like to do, once you find the time to do it regularly, you won’t want to stop. That’s the exercise activity you’re looking for. Try to work daily exercise into your recovery plan. It will help you feel good about yourself, cope with any negative emotions that might be coming up for you, and stay sober. Now take a moment to think about what kind of activity might work for you to help you get “hooked” on exercise.
Exercise 4.2: Selecting and Committing to an Exercise Activity
Some of the physical activities that I enjoy are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I will commit to trying on (date).
If it turns out not to be my top choice for a regular exercise activity, as an alternative, I will try
on (date).
Once I select my preferred activity, I will spend minutes on this activity
days per week.
One way to increase the likelihood that you will follow through on your commitment is to keep track of your follow-through on it, and reward yourself for maintaining your commitment. Think of some ways you might reward yourself for exercising. You can do something you enjoy afterward—buy a little something for yourself, enjoy some leisure time with a friend, or do something relaxing (like taking a bubble bath, sunbathing, or watching a favorite TV show). The point is to acknowledge your achievement. And be sure that you make the connection as you reward yourself, telling yourself that the reward is for exercising. You can use the exercise log below to track your progress.
Exercise 4.3: Exercise Log
This log is where you can write down how often you exercise, and record when you reward yourself for it. Try and make a point of rewarding yourself for exercising at least once, if not twice, per week. Use this log as consistently as you can over the next few months, as an aid to establishing a regular exercise regimen.
For the week of:
| Day | Exercise Type / Minutes Spent | Reward |
|---|---|---|
| Monday | ||
| Tuesday | ||
| Wednesday | ||
| Thursday | ||
| Friday | ||
| Saturday | ||
| Sunday |
I met my goals for this week (circle): Yes No
I rewarded myself one or more times for exercising (circle): Yes No
Taking Stock of Your Social Support Network
Studies show that social support for your recovery has a strong influence on your success in staying clean and sober (Kelly et al. 2012). This means that the more quality relationships you have with people who are supportive of your efforts to stop using alcohol or drugs, the more likely you are to be able to achieve and sustain your sobriety in the long run. Some people come into the recovery process with a lot of loving, supportive people around them who really “get it” and know how to be helpful. But some don’t. Some have loving people around, but those people don’t really understand their addiction as a disease, and don’t know how to support them in the right way. You may have a mix of all of these types of people in your life. Regardless of how your support system may seem right now at this moment, there are ways to build and adjust it, such as:
The first step is to take stock of the social network that currently exists in your life, and figure out which people, of those you are close to and spend time with, are sources of social support for your recovery, as well as who might be triggering for you. People who are triggering are usually either those who drink or use drugs themselves, and have done so around you, or those who are a source of conflict and negative emotions that ultimately lead to urges to drink or use.
Exercise 4.4: Safety Nets Versus Risky Relationships
In this exercise, you are going to think about whom you might consider a “Safety Net” for you, and which people or relationships are risky. Safety Nets are people who are supportive of your recovery and who won’t do things to jeopardize it (such as offering you alcohol or drugs, or behaving in ways that are triggering for you). Risky relationships are those that do the opposite of your Safety Nets—these are relationships with people who would tempt you to use through their own drug or alcohol use, or through their behavior toward you. Take a moment to think about friends, family members, coworkers, a 12-step sponsor, or anyone else who is part of your social network, and list them under the appropriate category.
Safety Nets Risky Relationships
1. 1.
2. 2.
3. 3.
4. 4.
5. 5.
6. 6.
Now, looking at this list, ask yourself whether you have at least a few solid Safety Nets whom you can count on to support you when you are having a hard day or need someone to talk to. If not, don’t despair. There are ways to build this up, which we’ll talk about momentarily. Also take a moment now to think about your risky relationships. There are a few ways to deal with the risky people in your life, depending on who they are and how much contact you need to have with them:
• Avoid: There are certain risky relationships that you’ll want to avoid altogether. Friends with whom your primary connection was all about drinking or using are generally too risky to be around. Dealers or people who used to supply you with drugs are people you should break connections with and avoid.
• Limit contact: There may be some risky people you can’t avoid entirely (such as coworkers you used to drink or use with after hours), but with whom you can limit your social contact.
• Set limits: There may be people (family members, close friends, a spouse, or other loved ones) who are triggering to you but are not people you can or want to avoid altogether. The key in those relationships is to set limits.
Setting Limits: Assertive Communication
Learning to communicate assertively can be a very useful tool in your recovery. First, let’s think about what it means to be assertive. There are three different communication styles. On the more reserved extreme, there are passive communicators. If you are passive, you tend to:
The problem with this communication style is that you can end up letting other people take advantage of you, leading you to feel defeated or resentful because your needs aren’t met. And feeling defeated or resentful can fuel other negative emotions, like depression.
If you are at the other extreme, you might be an aggressive communicator. If you are aggressive, you tend to:
The problem with this style is the disrespect it conveys to other people, which also can have the effect of isolating you from others, since it causes others to create distance from you to protect themselves.
Assertive communication is the middle ground that can help you express your needs effectively during your recovery. When you communicate assertively, you:
There are many benefits of being assertive. When you are communicating assertively, you are in control of your emotions and your way of expressing them. This inspires respect from others, making it more likely that they will be willing to meet your needs or requests, and inviting healthy and open communication in return. You might be wondering why this is so important for your recovery, and that is a very good question. Let’s look at a few scenarios.
Rick’s Dilemma
Rick is an alcoholic who has just recently gotten sober. He lives with his girlfriend, Tanya, who is a social drinker. She likes to drink wine with dinner occasionally, and she also likes to host dinner parties, during which she usually serves alcohol. There have been many occasions when, after having friends over, Rick and Tanya have gotten into arguments because of his drinking. Tanya is very happy that Rick is in recovery, but they haven’t had any conversations about how she can be helpful to him.
Tanya has continued to drink wine with dinner a few times a week, and she has had a couple of parties recently during which she served alcohol while Rick was around. At the most recent party, Rick was tempted to drink, but he knew that Tanya would get upset if he relapsed. So he waited until she fell asleep that night, and with the urge still very strong, he went into the kitchen and poured himself a drink for the first time in over a month. He ended up having five drinks that night before he went to bed.
Rick’s situation is a common one. It is very difficult to go into recovery and succeed in your efforts to avoid drinking or using when a partner or close friend continues to actively drink or use around you. At the beginning of this chapter, we discussed the importance of removing alcohol, drugs, or anything in your environment that is associated with drinking or using, to eliminate as many temptations or relapse triggers as possible. By keeping quiet about the way that exposure to alcohol at home is affecting him, Rick is being passive by not expressing his need for adjustments to Tanya. There could be a couple of reasons for this:
Do any of these ideas sound familiar? These types of thoughts are often the reasons why people in recovery don’t express their needs openly. At the root of the thoughts is the belief that they will be rejected in some way if they ask too much of others, or the belief that they should be “stronger” than the addiction (and therefore should not have any needs from other people related to their addiction recovery). These are what we call recovery-interfering thoughts, ones that stand in the way of your success in recovery. So, how do you overcome these ways of thinking? Well, first, you have to recognize them when they occur. Then, you can try having a healthier inner dialogue to cope with these thoughts and try to change them. Coming back to Rick’s situation, here are some healthy ways he can talk himself through the recovery-interfering thoughts that prevent him from asking Tanya for her help (by making some adjustments, such as removing alcohol from the house):
Assertive, recovery mindset: Although it might be burdensome to her to make some changes, the effect that Rick’s addiction has had on his relationship has been way more burdensome, and could create more serious problems. If she cares about him, she will make whatever adjustments are needed to help him. And she won’t necessarily feel burdened; maybe she has been waiting for Rick to come up with one or more ways that she can help him. You never know how another person feels until you sit down and have a conversation about it.
Assertive, recovery mindset: Hopefully Tanya will not feel turned off by the idea of making some changes to her lifestyle in support of Rick’s recovery—such as not keeping alcohol in the house for the time being, and hosting alcohol-free dinners, or hosting dinners at a restaurant. But if she does object, then she may need to become more knowledgeable about addiction. If she doesn’t know much about it, she may find it difficult to understand why Rick can’t just control himself when there is alcohol at home. To educate herself, she can go with him to counseling, or attend an Al-Anon meeting. Regardless, for their relationship to be successful, Tanya will need to deepen her understanding of Rick’s addiction, and figure out whether and how she might be willing to support his recovery.
Assertive, recovery mindset: Remember, “Be smart, not strong!” Even if Rick thinks that he should be strong enough to exercise willpower and resist drinking when there is alcohol in his home, the reality is, he isn’t. He has an addiction and he’s in early recovery. The way to preserve his recovery is to be smart and remove all triggers from his environment, rather than trying to prove that he can handle being around alcohol. Accepting that reality is a big part of recovery.
Now that you know how to talk yourself through some of the thoughts that can interfere with being assertive, you’ll need some practice in the delivery of assertive communication. Here are some rules of thumb:
When you show others that you are listening to them, it helps strengthen the connection between you, so that both you and the person you are talking to can be open about your feelings, including your wants and needs. There are both verbal and nonverbal ways of showing someone that you are listening. Here are some examples of verbal listening skills:
Nonverbal skills are also important tools to show another person that you are listening. A few ways that you can show someone you are listening through your body language are:
Once you’ve shown the other person you’re talking to that you are tuned in and listening, if there is something that you feel that you need, you can request it in a respectful way. One way to do this is to express your feelings as they relate to what you’re asking for. The phrase would look like this:
I feel when , and
I need .
Putting it all together, let’s come back to Rick’s situation. Using the way of phrasing his request suggested above, his assertive conversation with Tanya might go something like this: “I’ve been doing a lot of work on my recovery, and I’m learning about some of the things that I need to be successful. You’ve been very supportive of my recovery, and because I trust you and I know your intentions for me are good, I need to tell you something that isn’t so easy for me to admit. I feel very vulnerable when I am around alcohol. I’ve noticed that having it around the house and having people drinking at dinner parties here is hard for me. I get strong cravings to drink. I am worried that I am going to relapse, and I need your help and support. Would you be willing to consider not keeping alcohol at home for the time being?”
In this example, Rick used a lot of the key skills involved in assertive communication:
Most importantly, he did all of this in a very polite and respectful manner.
In your own recovery, there may be ways you need to set limits with others that are completely different from Rick’s situation. Some of the ways that you might use the assertiveness skills you are learning include:
Exercise 4.5: Practice Assertive Communication
To get some practice with assertive communication, in this exercise you will think about a few people in your life with whom you might need to set some limits or make some requests related to your recovery. For each of these people, you will practice writing out how you would express your needs using assertive communication.
Person 1:
What I need from this person:
Here’s how I’ll say it assertively:
I feel when
.
I need
.
Person 2:
What I need from this person:
Here’s how I’ll say it assertively:
I feel when
.
I need
.
Saying No to Offers of Alcohol or Drugs
Social pressure to drink or use causes one in three people in recovery to slip (Epstein and McCrady 2009). There are various reasons why it might be challenging for you to turn down these offers: It might be because the urge to use once it’s available is so strong, it is hard for you to overcome it. Another reason is that you may not be good at saying no to someone who is pushy. (And some people are alcohol or drug “pushers.”) You might also worry about what judgments other people might make about you if you say no.
The most important thing to remember in all of these situations is that your recovery is your priority, and the temptation to drink or use to please others is something you’ll need to overcome promptly if you’re going to stay sober. Drink or drug “pushers” need to be addressed respectfully but firmly so that they don’t continue to offer and trigger you. Here’s how to say no, whether to a pusher or to a friendly offer of alcohol or drugs:
If you have a friend, sponsor, counselor, or loved one who would be willing, try pairing up and practicing what you will say when you are offered alcohol or drugs. It’s only a matter of time before that happens, and the more prepared you are, the better you will handle it.
In this section, we will focus on ways of building up your network of support so that you have at least a handful of Safety Nets you can count on to help you through a tough moment, day, or period during your recovery.
First, remember that there are a lot of different types of relationships that can be Safety Nets for you. Your family members—including children, parents, and other relatives—can be Safety Nets. Members of a self-help group or other community-based organization (such as a church or temple), professional counselors, friends, or a romantic partner are other possible Safety Nets. The first thing to pay attention to as you identify who, for you, is a Safety Net, is the role of alcohol and drugs in that person’s life. Is this someone who drinks or uses drugs heavily, or who is likely to drink or use when around you? Is it someone who would be willing to abstain from drinking or using when around you? Ideally, your Safety Nets should be people who either don’t drink or use (or do so very little), or who are willing to abstain around you.
The next step is for you to think about the qualities that you are looking for in the people who could be Safety Nets in your life. Use the exercise below to help you identify these qualities.
Exercise 4.6: Qualities of Safety Nets
People who can be Safety Nets for me will have the following qualities (check all that apply for you):
Not actively drinking or using
Good at listening
Knowledgeable about addiction (or willing to learn)
Respectful toward me
Nonjudgmental
Trustworthy
Kind
Nurturing
Patient
Willing to make time for me
Not flaky
Genuine
Interested in sharing thoughts, perspectives, and ideas
Protective of me and my recovery
Other important qualities of a Safety Net in my life:
If you don’t currently have any Safety Nets in your life, or if you have just a few and would like to have more, make it a priority to expand your support network. Having many people to call on for support when you need it is invaluable in any stage of recovery.
Exercise 4.7: Ways to Expand Your Network
In this exercise, you will list new ways that you plan to try to expand your social support network.
List at least two ways you can reach out to old friends or potential new ones, such as joining a volunteer organization, enrolling in a class, or contacting one or more old friends who are potential Safety Nets:
List at least two ways you can become part of a community-based organization, such as joining a mutual self-help group like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA); attending a religious activity at a temple, church, or other entity; joining a special-interest group or club; or seeking a professional counselor or other treatment provider:
List at least one way that you can deepen your relationship with one or more of your family members (a partner, children, or other relatives), such as calling or getting together more often:
A Word on Mutual Self-Help Programs
Mutual self-help groups are the most widely available and helpful resources that you can use to build a social support network for your recovery. More and more studies show that participating in self-help groups enhances social support for recovery, and as a result, contributes in a very meaningful way to success in achieving and maintaining sobriety (Kelly et al. 2012). There are various self-help groups that use the 12-step recovery model, including Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous, and Dual Recovery Anonymous (for people with both addictions and mental health problems), to name just a few. Other self-help groups include Self-Management and Recovery Training (SMART Recovery), an alternative that may be a good fit for people who are uncomfortable with the spiritual component of 12-step groups.
It might help to keep the following information and advice in mind as you explore self-help groups:
Congratulations on working your way through an intense chapter with lots of new concepts and skills to work on! As you’re learning, there are a lot of different ways that you can lay the groundwork for a recovery-oriented life. It starts with making your environment safe and free from triggers. Then, you have to start thinking with your recovery mindset about your day-to-day decisions, to be sure that you are not setting yourself up for a relapse without realizing it. Next thing you know, you’re rethinking your relationships to figure out who’s good for your recovery and who is not so good, and you’re adjusting your communication style with the not-so-good ones. Then you’re looking to make new friends, join new organizations, and go to self-help meetings. And don’t forget to exercise!
If all of this is a little overwhelming, that is completely understandable. But remember, you don’t have to make all of these changes at once. Pace yourself with each of these skills and the exercises that go along with them in a way that’s comfortable for you. Once you’ve put them into practice, you can move on to the next chapter, where you’ll learn to be a “self expert,” so that you can begin to understand how your personal ways of thinking can set you up for a relapse, and learn how to change them.